Fix You

1. State Of Grace

It's been six months. Six months since it happened. I still have nightmares about it, I think I always will. The choices I had made that led up to that day would forever haunt me, and I could never take them back, no matter how much I wish that I could. Nobody understands how desperately I grip onto the fact that I messed this up, I'm the reason that mum died, dad's in the hospital still, and there is still not a near chance of him getting discharged any time in the relative closeness of the future.

Brandon's voice breaks my train of thought. "El, I'm going to the store, do you need anything?" He pokes his head into the door and sees me curled up and crying on my bed. Actually, it's the bed in the guest room at his flat, but I've been using it for a month, so now it's mine, I guess. "Oh, Ellie..." Brandon says softly as he walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing my back gently.

"I...I..." I can't say more before erupting into a volcano of tears. Brandon sits fully on the bed cross-legged and pulls me into his lap. "M-m-my fault......" I choke out through the tears. He pulls me close and just holds me, letting me cry.

"It's not your fault, Ellie," my brother comforts while stroking my hair, "He's unstable, and now he's locked up."

I try to say something, get words out of my mouth, but the tears just flow out of my eyes and I curl up into my older brother's arms. Honestly, I just want to leave this world. But I can't leave Brandon, I need him. No, I need time by myself. I need time to clear my thoughts.

"Ice cream..." I mumble after calming myself down and stopping the flow of tears. "I w-want ice cream..."

"Alright, Ellie," Brandon says with a chuckle. He stops playing with my brunette locks and sets me on the bed where I was before, and asks, "Just ice cream?"

"Yeah. Just ice cream." I reply softly as he gets up and walks out of the room.

After a few minutes, I hear him start his car and drive off to the store. Perfect. It's at least 40 minutes till be gets back, the store is 20 minutes away. Knowing this, I get up and go out to his familiar kitchen/dining room/lounge combination. There are only 5 rooms in the flat. The big combo thing, the two bedrooms, the bathroom, and the office, with a computer, printer, fax machine, and a small bookshelf.

I grab a piece of paper from the printer in the office, and go to the kitchen counter, writing a note. 'Going to Starbucks. I'll be back in a bit.'

I'm not worried about Brandon getting back before me, I've got at least 40 minutes. Since I have so much time, I take a quick shower and dry my hair. Then I make sure my face isn't too blotchy, which it isn't, and put on my black combat boots along with black leggings and a white Nirvana shirt. I've loved them since I was around seven.

Grabbing my coat, I go through the door of the flat, making sure I have the spare key and my phone before locking the door behind me and walking down the street and around the corner to Starbucks.

The cold winter air bites at my face, and I am quite glad that Starbucks is only around the corner and up a block. It's Wednesday, so I hope it isn't too crowded.

I get to the door at the same time as a blonde boy. He looks about 19. (A/N set in 2012 for now) I'm so absorbed in my thoughts that I don't see him also aiming to enter the miraculous coffee shop.

"Sorry," I say upon nearly colliding with him. I am so awkward...

"S'alright, love," he says in an enchanting Irish accent. Thinking about guys like this reminds me of him. Lucky me, he's in jail. "After you," says the Irishman. "I'm Niall, by the way."

"Elizabeth. You can call me Ellie," I reply as we both get in line.

"Okay, Miss Ellie," Niall begins. "Can I buy you a coffee? Or whatever you're getting?"

"I was gonna get green tea," I say to the blonde haired, blue eyed boy who is looking down at me. "Their tea is expensive, though, so you don't need to get me something if you don't want to."

He doesn't think for a second, and says, "What kind of person would I be if I made a beautiful girl pay for such expensive tea?" I giggled.

"I take that as you want to get me something, then?" I think my face must be red, both because it was super cold outside, and this random stranger had called me beautiful.

"Yeah, El," Niall said, "I want to get you something," he said firmly, beaming down at me.

When it was our turn to order, Niall started. "I'll have a medium hot coffee, extra cream, with a shot of vanilla."

"And you?" The lady behind the counter asks me, with a look of total jealousy on her face.

"I'll have a medium green tea with Splenda, please," I say to the lady. She rings up our order, and Niall pays as we wait for our drinks.

"Medium hot, extra cream, shot of vanilla and green tea with Splenda," says one of the other people behind the counter. Niall and I grab our drinks and we sit at a table near the back, away from the windows along the front of the coffee shop.

"So," I say

"So," Niall replies. I awkwardly sip on my tea, which is actually really good. "Tell me about yourself, Ellie," Niall says as he sips on his coffee.

"Well, my name is Elizabeth Fairbanks, I'm seventeen, eighteen in about 2 months, and I've been living with my brother for the past six months, his name is Brandon. I play football like crazy, I want to try out for the women's team, and I sing a little."

"You play football? That's awesome-although, I could probably kick your butt." Niall jokes. "I'm Niall Horan, I'm nineteen, and I live with my four best mates. We're in a band together, so it's safe to say that I sing. I have an older brother too, his name is Greg." I am completely drawn in by his accent. It's Irish and extremely alluring.

"You're Irish too, Horan," I tease.

"Really? I had no idea!" Niall laughs. I let out a quiet giggle. "Hey Ellie, are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah, why?" I ask. I think he's gonna ask me out and I don't think I can trust another guy in a relationship. Why did I let him buy me tea? I think I'm under his spell, wrapped around his finger. That was quick...

"My mates and I are going to the carnival. Want to tag along? Your brother can come too, if he wants," Niall explains. Hm, that sounds fun...

"I can talk to my brother and get back to you... Well, not really, I have no way of contacting you."

"Can I see your phone?" Niall asks. I pull out my phone and hand it to Niall. I can't tell what he's doing, so I just wait. When he hands it back to me, it's displaying a new contact.

"Niall is Better At Football Than Miss Elizabeth Fairbanks. Nice contact name, Horan," I smirk.

"Thanks. Now you can text me when you talk to your brother," Niall reasons. Suddenly, my phone dings and I get a text from Brandon. 'you still at Starbucks? I'm gonna come get a coffee.'.

"Speaking of my brother, he's coming to Starbucks." This should be interesting...

"Awesome, I can meet him then?" I think for a minute, and before I can reply, Brandon walks in.

"Hey Ellie," Brandon says as he makes his way over to us. "Niall? Long time no see, man!"

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Authors Note

Yes! Cliffhanger! Wait, Brandon knows nialler? What? OH MY HOODNESS! (Calum Hood, everybody...)

Ahhhh! Well everyone is waiting for me so I have to go....... LATER BAES

-Alli- ❤️