It's one of those days huh?

Today it was definitely one of those days. The ones where the kind yet somewhat dumb teen had learned to recognise ever since his brother had died, heck even before it if Okuyasu could remember it properly. He just rarely understood them until recently where he had been left on his own with only his father there who currently was not able to help him. Heck the man was probably part of the reason the teen had days like this. Those painful memories, thoughts and doubt just plagued the male and he hated it.

What was even the issue? Was it a bad day? Not particularly in any sense of the normal way for most people. Not even a bad day for a stand user since there was no one to attack him for any reason. The only major thing is that Okuyasu went home once school ended instead of hanging out with his boyfriend and Koichi, even surprising them. But an excuse of having to clean the house was enough to get the two of his back, despite Josuke telling him he would be happy to help. Of course the teen loved his boyfriend but it was one of those days.

One of the days where memories of being abused by his dad and to an extent his brother came flooding into his mind, making it hard to focus on anything. Heck it made him question so much of his life even. What was him? What was because of all the trauma? Honestly Okuyasu didn't really know and currently he was not in the mood to think too hard about it, mostly because his mood would worsen....well current mental state too when he really thought about it. His hard work at bettering himself felt like nothing even.

Days like these often made him even more tired then usual, bringing rapid mood changes that taunted him, even tried to push him into lashing out to someone without realising it. That's why he always stayed home on days like these. To not lash out, to ruin any relationships....to not be like his father or brother. Honestly his father had been a rather horrible human being after his mother died, both physically and verbally abusing both him and his brother. Keicho often took the worst of it to protect him from it. Those were the moments Okuyasu looked up to his brother for being so brave. Now the male understood that it also caused all that lashing out at him, if the teen had to guess it was because they didn't really know how to deal with the situation either.

Okuyasu shook his head as an attempt to get rid of those memories, only for his mind to bring up the memory of his brother punching him to save him from red hot child pepper and being killed because of it. Honestly this made the male feel even worse. It made him feel guilty for disliking his brother despite how much of an asshole he used to be. After all Keicho had still saved him despite all the insults that weren't really only the typical sibling banter. The teen believed that his brother had deserved to die with all the horrible things he had done but the memories of the good moments had made him so confused on how to feel. Even if some people would say that Okuyasu should feel a bit of relief that Keicho wasn't an issue in his life the male felt guilty for being even a tiny bit relieved.

The same went for his father, although it was definitely made even more confusing by the fact he was still alive and clearly still cared, yet at the same time Okuyasu was angered, there were barely any good memories with his dad, most of them involved his dad hitting him and yelling at him. Part of him wanted to change his father once he was human again, forgive him and build a new life. But the abuse couldn't be forgiven just because his father wanted to change. Even Okuyasu understood that his dad and brother were part if not the biggest reason he had to work so hard to be mentally stable. Heck forgiving his brother or his father wouldn't make him feel better either, only worse considering it could end with his dad falling into old habits.

The teen took a shaky breath, sitting up slowly for the futon he was lying on. He needed to stop thinking about all these things, he had stuff to do after all just sitting there and mopping wouldn't do anything right? Maybe if Okuyasu went to do some of his chores he could get his mind of it. Yeah that should help shouldn't it?