in which a teenage girl publishes one shots about the sway house boys.
DISCLAIMER: mature themes, strong language, & bdsm aspects
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Started - 1/18/20
Completed - 11/20/20
Highest Rank: #1 - janthony
2nd Highest Rank: #1 - jonth...
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WARNING: mentions of r*pe
a/n: you guys wanted a second part to this and you shall receive just that.
lowkey disappointed that griffin cheated on dixie though...
jaden's pov:
why did i do that?
how could i do that?
i grabbed at my chest as i collapsed against the bathroom stall.
what had i done?
griffin would never take me back after that. i just destroyed him.
truthfully, i had been scared. i rejected him and denied my own feelings because i was scared.
my last relationship was a shit show. i had to move schools because of how bad it had gotten in the end. and now i had practically done the same thing to someone else.
i didn't think i was capable of doing that. i never wanted to hurt someone else that way.
gosh, i was being so selfish. i knew that i shouldn't have done that but i couldn't bring myself to go back to him and tell him how i really felt.
what if he was lying to me? what if he was going to humiliate me as well?
no. no. no.
i shouldn't be thinking about what if's. i had gone to therapy for this very reason.
i needed to start trusting people again. i needed to make baby steps. he hadn't humiliated me before, so i could trust him - should trust him.
no one else was my ex. my ex was my ex and i needed to stop projecting my feelings from that relationship onto future partners.
i needed to take these steps.
i wiped my tears on the back of my hand and stood up on shaky legs.
this was for me. this wasn't for griffin or my therapist or anybody else. this was for me.
i needed to accept my feelings.
i needed to accept that i deserved love.
i needed to accept the fact that i was worthy.
i practically ran out of the bathroom and made my way back to the janitor's closest. lunch would be over soon but i didn't care, i needed to do this.
it wasn't very far, but once i got there i hesitated.
this was it. i could do this.
i wrapped my hand around the door handle and took one last deep breath before opening the door.
