Lilys pov:
''Lily I can't take you to hell''- well freak my life, I think something broke, I don't know if it was my heart or my mind
''Lily I can take you but after a week in hell you will die there in so much pain, alive people can't be there for long time and survive, you have to be dead, and believe me I won't kill you, just to have you in my arms''- he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, he opened his eyes, they were black like his hair, and said- ''Lily I have been watching you your whole life, I want you, I need you, and I love you, but I won't sacrifice your life so I can have you''- suddenly he tensed- ''Lily there is a problem I have to go''- and just like that he disappeared and I was alone in my bed
I got up and started walking around the room, talking to myself like I was crazy- ''What can I do, what do I have to do to end up in hell, murder, no I don't want to kill some poor soul so I can be with Luke, uff what does go against gods laws, something that doesn't include me hurting others, what, what..umh...''
''SUICIDE''- I shouted
''What does keep me on this earth, fucking nothing, I am done with this shit, no more, NO MORE!!!!''
I felt calm after that, I have decided I will join Luke in hell. I undressed and went to shower, after that I found my only dress, it was white and knee length, after I was dressed I found my only high heels, if I am going to die on my terms then I will die pretty. I dried my hair and put a white lily in it. I liked my look, my eyes were glowing. So now I have to decide how am I going to die.
''I...I don't want to cut myself, I know pills, a lot of pills will do it.''
I went to the bathroom, I had some strong sleeping pills there, I always had problems with sleeping because I always had scary nightmares. I took ten pills and went to my room. I can't just leave like that, so I took a piece of paper and wrote: Fuck you all :* - I think my crazy side came out after all these years
I took them, one by one, and just lie down on my bed. After 10minutes I felt very sleepy, before I welcomed the darkness- ''I love you Luke''- left my lips
The day I died was 5 January 2015.
++++I have to write this note. I wrote this story 5 years ago and forgot about this part. I just want to clarify that I don't condone suicide. Nobody should have to ever think about doing that. Don't ever think suicide is a way out. Story is one thing but real life is another. Always find the light to guide you.+++
