For your eyes only - l.s

Chapter Eleven

Louis and Harry are once more left alone. Heavy silence is falling over them, and Louis still looks like he's feeling sick.

"Are you okay?" Harry finally asks and bends down a little to get a glimpse of Louis' face. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

Louis looks up at him and swallows harshly.

"It's alright. I'm fine."

"Zayn... He doesn't know it, does he?"

Louis shakes his head and presses the palms of his hands firmly together in his lap. "There's nothing to know anyway."

Harry ignores the stitch in his chest and presses further, "What did you tell him who I was?"

"An old friend...?" Louis states quietly but it comes out as more of a question. "I told him that we once went different ways after a... fight."

"A fight?" Harry asks, brows furrowed together when he's thinking back to the day when Louis left him. It hadn't been a fight, it had been the saddest goodbye he has ever experienced in his life – and the worst thing was, he didn't even understand the reason for it. There was nothing he could do about it. It left him heartbroken.

For weeks, maybe months, he had been wondering what he had done that hurt Louis so much that he wanted to never see him again. It hit like a brick when he realised that maybe not a particular action of him had caused Louis to feel uncomfortable but the whole situation. He hated himself for overwhelming Louis, for forcing him to something he didn't actually want.

Seeing him together with Zayn gave him hope that maybe, only maybe, his feelings of guilt were unjustified, at least up to some point. But Louis' reaction to his assumption of them being a couple showed Harry that he has been right all those years – he had tried to make Louis someone he's not. He had forced himself on him without questioning if Louis really felt the same.

Harry had never felt anything else than love for Louis. From the first day they met, there was some kind of special connection between them – at least Harry thought so. He never knew exactly what the loud, flamboyant boy with the sunshine smile thought about him or their friendship, but Harry was glad that someone as precious as Louis spent his time with him in the first place. It didn't really matter if Louis considered him his best friend – Harry for himself knew that he would give his life for the boy with the baby blue eyes.

"I didn't know what to tell him," Louis suddenly says and starts pulling the hem of his sleeves over his fists, hiding them in the fabric. "Zayn is one of my closest friends and I didn't want to lie to him... but after last evening he wouldn't stop asking questions. I came up with the very first explanation I could think of. He found you nice. He wanted me to use the opportunity of getting over the fight. He said it would be stupid to not come here today."

This is the most Harry has heard Louis say at once since he arrived. He just swallows to avoid a response but eventually has to ask the question that has been buzzing through his head the entire time.

"Do you regret coming here?"

Louis lets go of the fabric of his shirt and lowers his head even more. "I don't know to be honest."

Harry breaths out with a subtle feeling of relief in his chest. He has no reason to interpret anything into this, but at least it gives him hope that Louis doesn't hate him completely.

"Why did you expect it?" he suddenly asks out of the blue.

"Expect what?" Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"That I'm an actor?"

"Oh...," he blushes slightly, "I didn't directly expect you to be an actor but it kinda fits, you know? You've always been the born entertainer, funny, outgoing, charming... Do you remember when we talked about our plans for after finishing school?"

Louis seems surprised that Harry is bringing this up, let alone remembers it, but nods.

"Well, you told me that you wanted to become a singer. It already went into the same direction. Have you ever tried to become a singer?" he asks softly.

"God, no...," Louis chuckles before adding more seriously, "Life as an actor is more comfortable, kind of. It's hard to find jobs, for sure, but actually, all you have to do is play a character someone else has created. You simply do what the director asks you to. I mean, you can bring in your own interpretation, but others are doing most of the work. You don't bear so much responsibility, you know? As a singer, you put your heart and your soul out there, it's like stepping into public naked and hoping that people will like it. I'm not made for this."

Harry grins at the metaphor Louis used and is otherwise left speechless, considering how much information he gave him at once. Louis shyly looks up and gazes at Harry as if to try and check his reaction. When he spots the dimpled grin on his face, the corners of Louis' mouth also tug up a little, and a little more – he actually gives Harry a genuine smile and it makes his eyes crinkle and his orbs glow. God, how Harry has missed this smile.

After a moment, Louis ducks his head again and purses his lips, but he doesn't seem so tense anymore. Harry pulls out his wallet and throws a few pounds on the table. Louis gives him a confused look but starts searching for some money as well. Zayn just left without paying for his tea, so he'll have to pay for it too.

"This is enough for everything," Harry says and points to the coins on the table. "I begged you to come here, this is the least I can do," he adds with a lopsided grin.

Louis mumbles a sheepish Thank you and still stares at him in confusion.

"What about a short trip before I take you back?" Harry asks and gets up from his seat. He hopes that he's not making a too bold move.

Louis looks puzzled but agrees eventually. They walk over to get their jackets, Harry keeping some distance so he doesn't destroy Louis' newly acquired trust – if he can call it that.

They say their goodbyes to the waitress and once they are out of the door, Harry points to his mud green Land Rover. Louis' uneasiness seems to return as he strolls over to the car and nervously shifts from one foot to the other until Harry has positioned himself behind the steering wheel.

"Come on, hop in!" he grins and bends over to open the door for Louis from the inside.

The other man swallows and hesitantly climbs into the vehicle.

"Don't worry, I'm a skilled driver," Harry says with a smug grin on his face.

"You sure?" Louis replies with feigned suspicion. "I think your parents' lawn mower would see that quite differently."

Harry's jaw nearly hits the floor as he drops it in indignation.

"What-... How do you even remember this?" He stammers, completely forgetting to start the car.

"How could I ever forget how you crashed frontally into your garden shed because you didn't find the brakes?" Louis replies with a shrewd grin on his face, not able to hold in his laughter any longer.

Harry sighs theatrically and puts his forehead against the steering wheel.

"Out of all things, you remember this?" he groans but bursts into laughter as well. For a moment he can forget that the Louis next to him is not the person he once knew – he is a stranger that doesn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. But this doesn't count right now.

After they both caught their breath again, Harry starts the car and pulls onto the street. They drive in silence for a few minutes. Harry dares to glace over at Louis, just to find him staring out of the window but with a small smile lingering on his lips.

"Here we are," Harry says as soon as he has stopped the car on a dusty road between a field and a meadow. Louis looks up and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise as he recognizes the place. He looks at Harry who is already watching him with a lopsided grin.

Where might they be???

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