Let me adopt you

Prologue

I'm trying to write.It's bad or good.Dunno.

(A pov)

 I'm a normal gal.

Jk. I'm a weirdo. Just ask my dismantled sock puppets and then you'll understand.

Anyway, this is the story of how I died-yes DIED, like you care- because of a god-damn dingus fan-god-ing over My Hero Academia. I should start it from that day. Let me show you how my short and misguided life ended. Damn you God.

It was rainy and wet. I liked it. Yet me liking the rain, lead to me getting viciously attacked. When went to the book store to buy some manga, I was attacked. Here's a Flashback.

(Flashback)

Y/n walked past an alleyway, only to be met by a sharp blade right in front of her. So she shrieked,

"Someone's trying to shank me!"

"Shut up bitch!"

"Sorry about that. I'll just die quietly then."

"Just give me that bag"

"Frick that. See how you like getting stabbed"

She yeeted the chopsticks she had conveniently brought with her (forgot she was holding them). It hit him right in the eye.

"Fuck" he yelled, dropping the knife and clutching his eye. He looked at her and took a threatening step forward, but slipped the knife. Y/N quickly grabbed his knife propelling towards her-carefully because it's a knife and held it threateningly towards him.

"Karma's a good judge of character and you ,my loyal assassin, are ffff...fricked ."

The little bitch looked at her in pain and ran away like the little bitch he was.                                            "Crazy bitch!"

"Suck my chopsticks" she yelled at him bitterly. She then looked at the knife in her hands and the bystanders around her looking at her in fear. She sighed, knowing that they would have ran away if the guy stabbed her, and threw the knife back into the alley. Turning to the passer-bys,

"Sup bitches." she said to the wimps and walked away.

(It ends here and now)

That was annoying, but then it got worse. LuCkY mE, rIgHt. So here, rejoice in my memories and have another damn flashback.

(Flashy back)

She had reached the library and rented the manga,. Thankfully, she didn't get any blood on her. That would've been suspicious. On her way back, she crossed the road.

Only to see a giant looming truck heading towards her.

"Shit" she screeched and quickly jumped out the way. Unlike those numerous action movies, she didn't have the power of 'CUT' on her side and so was hit in the crocs. It hurt like a bitch.

So there she lay, sitting on the side of the road, nursing her injured feet. No one even asked her if she was alright! Damn bystanders!

Slowly, she lifted herself up, wincing repeatedly, and limped home, ignoring the looks of pity sent her way.

(Flash gone)

Now you may be wondering, am I lucky or what. I almost died two times! Two I tell you! Well guess what, I guess the dingus was reaaaaally stubborn actually. He tried to kill me yet another time and unfortunately for me-this one worked.

F. 

I deserve it.

(The last one)

She could see her house. It was only a couple blocks away. She could already feel the relief of flopping onto her bed and greeting Whiskers-da cat. Although, Whiskers probably didn't give a shit about her. He was mean like that, but he was a cat so it was endearing.

She opened the front gate.

She got struck by lighting.

"Shit. I think I'm hungry. I should get a cheeseburger" said Y/N- mostly likely mentally unstable from all the near death experiences. She limped past the gate and closed it.

She got struck again and died. Whoopsies.

(Flash is the boom.)

As you can tell I went into the afterlife. I met the holy ass himself. Guess what the first thing he said to me was.

"You couldn't die the first time, could you" sarcastically flipping his long gorgeous beard.

What. An. Asshole.