The Lady of Ren

Mizpah

When you wore black it was usually for aesthetic purposes.

But now you were in mourning, and though Kylo wore black every day, you were able to see the weight being carried on his shoulders. He strides down the hall with a different aura - much less demanding and much more mechanical. His helmet has stayed on in your presence ever since you were carried into the infirmary.

You don't ask him to take it off. You know.

It had been a week since you were admitted and you were allowed to "go home" (which really just meant the rest of the base and your bedroom). You would, however, be required for daily check-ups for the next three weeks - the time you were also suspended from working. Three weeks without something to distract you. Working was your life and everyone knew it. Maybe it was a punishment.

After all, you lost the child.

You're walking down the hall, shoulders back and a figurative mask on, when general Hux says your name. You turn and find him at the opposite end, his hands motioning for you to come hither. You sigh and roll your eyes, meeting him halfway.

Your arms snake behind you. "Yes, general?"

Hux inspects you closely. You clear your throat.

"Snoke requests an audience."

You raise an eyebrow. "Demands, you mean."

The redhead nods curlty. "Demands," he repeats. His voice lingers. "Commander Ren will attend you."

Your gulp, your whole body freezing, though a strange heat settles in your ankles. You nod sharply and walk in the direction of which he came. The general doesn't leave your side, strangely enough, and instead struts along with you. Stormtroopers nod in submission and continue walking. A particular trooper watches you from a distance and whispers to their confidant something you can't hear.

"Does everyone know?" you ask Hux flatly, eyes strictly forward.

The general takes a moment to answer. The two of you round a corner. "The majority, yes."

At least he was honest.

When you arrive to Snoke's grounds, Hux finally leaves you without another word. Odd, but apparently his presence was necessary. Did Kylo think you'd run away?

Whatever the reason, you enter the doors, eager to make it look like you aren't afraid. But you are. When you see Snoke's hologram towering above the ground, your skin trembles.

Snoke says your name in a sonorous voice. "You're late," he sneers.

Kylo is waiting for you, his mask showing no indication of his feelings. Your arrival probably infuriates him but you can't decide yet. You stand tall beside him, hands clasped together.

"I was just informed," you tell him, voice stronger than you imagined.

Snoke looks down at you as though you're minuscule and, quite literally, you really are. He grimaces and settles back into his chair. "The child..."

"Is dead," you hiss. A brave reply.

Snoke's face falls, but not in disappointment. You've angered him. "Yes..." he muses. "You've lost the child."

You inhale deeply, shame clouding your expression. Kylo looks at you - you see him in the corner of your eye. "I did," you decide. And it's true. You really did.

But you wouldn't let Kylo believe that you're weak. No. You're firm and steadfast. His reaction, no matter what it may be, will not tear you apart.