Cheating Death

Cheating Death Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The hard thing has been picking which of my items I want to tackle first. Aside from the charity, of course. I decided to start simple. Try something I'd never eat normally. I chose escargot, as it's snails. Finding a place to eat it was the hard part, of course. I live in a relatively small town, which does not have fancy eating places. The good thing is the hospital where I go is in the middle of a really big city and they have plenty of places. My doctor, Doctor Ira, found it funny when I asked where I could get some good escargot. His exact reaction was to chuckle, then pat my hand and say, "Didn't know you enjoyed French cuisine, Miss Ross." I replied that I have a highly developed and varied palate, something I heard on a cooking show.

Doctor Ira suggested a French restaurant that had been open for years. He even told me to tell them he sent me. At first the man at the door, I think he's called the "concierge" looked at me funny. Then he looked at my mom, and my three dads even funnier. After his initial confusion, though, he greeted us with a bored "Bonjour." David, mentioned Doctor Ira and the concierge smiled brightly. A smile turned the tall, lanky, balding black haired man into a cherub. Or it did to me, my grandma used to have cherubs all over her house. Some of them had sweet, wide beaming smiles. This concierge, his smile turned him into one. I even giggled, imagining him in the diaper the cherubs seemed to like wearing with tiny golden wings.

The concierge showed us to our table, even handed us menus. Took our drink order and quickly went into kitchen for a brief moment, then back to the door. Once he was behind his desk, he once again looked cranky, lanky, and balding. I made a note to tell grandma he looked like a cherub next time we visited, she likes people who look like them. Our drinks were brought out, I got a coke, mom and David both got tall glasses of white wine, dad got a brandy with rocks, and Tim just got a water.

Many people looked at us weird, at first. So seeing Dad and David acting just as affectionate as Mom and Tim seemed to confuse this one group. One woman, an older lady with a dead fox around her shoulders, looked like she'd just bitten into one of those really huge jaw breakers, like she had hurt her jaw or maybe a tooth. She only did it once, then she noticed me. That's when she frowned, shook her head, then went back to her dinner. I wasn't sure if she felt bad for me, which she shouldn't, or bad that she felt that way after she noticed they had a younger person with them?

We all talked for awhile, trying to read the menus. Tim translated for us, since he knew enough French to do so. When our water, who insisted we call him Bob, returned, I wanted to order Escargots Bourguignon. He told me that was taken care of, as was the rest of our meal. That I could pick something else, he even encouraged everyone else to taste the escargot, to not let me brave it alone. He was a very animated speaker, even acting like his pen was a sword and using it for emphases on the word brave. With my original choice made for me, I looked for something else, while Tim spoke in French with Bob to find out who was paying. Turns out Doctor Ira had already agreed to pay for everything. I need to thank him for that.

I ordered something with duck, I can't remember the name.  Mom ordered Ris de Veau à la Reine, which was something with "sweetbreads", at the time I thought bread wasn't that adventurous. As we all agreed to try something we normally wouldn't. Mom explained that it's a meat, of parts many normally do not eat. Tim ordered a dish containing blood sausage, dad ordered lamb (he normally doesn't eat baby animals), and David decided last moment to get what mom ordered. Right after he went to tell the chef our order, Bob arrived with a plate, or maybe it's called a platter. It had little indentations with each one containing a snail, complete with shell. Bob handed us all special little forks and brandished one himself, once again like a sword. He showed us, in detail how to get the snail out, said he liked his on crackers, then after asking if he could have the one he so valiantly won, ate it happily on a cracker he used magic to make appear.

Patting me on the shoulder, Bob took a bow then went to the kitchen, leaving us all with the snails, the escargot. Everyone had promised they'd try with me. So we each grabbed a snail, and following Bob's directions pried it out of the shell. I know it's silly, but my family did a snail toast, "To Emily!" I giggled, I actually giggled. Then we all, in as close to unison as we could, stuffed the snail into our mouths.

A few things happened. I decided I liked mine, David did as well. Tim chewed his, making "hm," and "hrm" noises like he was thinking about it. Mom swallowed hers whole, which is cheating. Then Dad spit his into a napkin. He said he couldn't do it, and apologized. I forgive him, he tried. I also forgive mom, but she still cheated. I say Dad didn't cheat because he chewed his two times, at least. Mom didn't taste hers at all. Mom agreed to eat two bites of whichever food we decided was the worst of what we all ordered afterwards.

Bob and two other waiters brought our food. Tim asked him, in French which Mom should eat two bites of. Bob thought it was funny and laughed. According to Tim, Bob said we were being too harsh. We all agreed that Mom should only have to eat one bite of the blood sausage. Which she did, she even chewed it. We all counted, 25 chews, which is what they say is how you chew your food correctly. The rest of us tried a bite of each other's food. I didn't like the consistency, I think is the word, of the blood sausage. I quite liked all the others. I still, for some reason, expected bread when David gave me a piece of the sweet bread.

We ate and talked, like we always do when we eat together. Mom and David tease Dad about how he used to be addicted to work. Tim and Dad tease her about her addiction to high heels. Last count, Mom had 500 pairs of shoes. She gets them all on sale, so when she was with Dad he didn't get TOO angry. Tim just finds it amusing. After we finished our meals, the concierge came to check on us, and he was carrying a porcelain... pan. I can't think of what it's actually called. The concierge, who said his name is Jacques, said it was Crème Brûlée, and also compliments of Doctor Ira. Jacques, I found out is spelled different than it sounds. I thought he said "Jock," and had to look up the spelling.

The Crème Brûlée... I will admit, first bite I didn't like it. But, I decided to try another and I found my favorite dessert. Jacques says it's basically called "burned sugar." That's a bit what it smelled like. I liked the flaky top part, it tickled my tongue, right before it melted. The rest was sweet, almost sickeningly so, but just sweet enough to taste good and even coat your tongue. Jacques even made me another one to take home, since he saw I liked it so much. He even told Tim, since his English wasn't very good, that he liked knowing young people could appreciate a good meal.

Even though everything was covered, and Jacques or Bob wouldn't tell us the total, all four of my parents left a tip. They left it in an envelope, so I couldn't see how much. Tim only said they deserved it and much more. I really wanted to know how much was in that envelope. I bet it was more than I've saved for the charity!