Why not me? | Asanoya

She's always there.

“I like you Asahi.” His words were sincere, true. Since he was a first year he had these thoughts bundled up in his mind. Living rent free, but to only torture his mortal compass. Nishinoya knew what he wanted. But, he could never have it. “Oh… Nishinoya.” He looked distracted. Why was he not focusing on the confession? “I’m sorry, I don’t like… guys.”

Nishinoya didn’t hate her. She was this bubbly sweet girl that would hold you till you felt better. She had this angelic voice that rang ear to ear. Her smile would brighten up the room as everyone sat and stared. She was like those picture perfect girls you see in movies. She seemed perfect. She was perfect for Asahi.

“Asahi-Kun!” Her soft voice ran through the court. Everyone’s eyes directed to the girl waving happily over to her boyfriend. Asahi jumped up, his eyes also tracking over. He seemed flustered from the sudden call out. But, this was a daily routine. In the middle of practice she would visit him to either bring a drink or a snack. She would sit with the managers and watch him and only him play. Her eyes were digging into his soul and Asahi didn’t even flinch. Who wouldn’t though? Anyone would want a gorgeous girl to watch them play.

The liberos eyes glanced over to the female, only to retract his direction. Her name was Yua. She had long black hair that was shiny and smooth. Her skin was pale but spotless. She was barely an inch taller than Yū. She walked like she was walking on clouds. A big smile running ear to ear. She was always so bubbly and happy whenever she was near Asahi. It was annoying.

He should be proud of his best friend. Encourage and cheer him on as he actually got out of his shell. He should be happy. He wasn’t though. Nishinoya wanted to be in her place. He wanted to be looked at like that. He wanted to be held ever so gently by his soft hands. He wanted to give him hugs and make his lips curve into a wide smile. But, that was all a fantasy. Nishinoya didn’t have soft flawless skin. He didn’t have wide eyes that were filled with beauty. He didn’t have long and silky hair. The boy only had bruised knuckles and legs. Short spiky hair that always looked out of place. His eyes were big but they certainly weren’t beautiful. Most of all, he was a boy.

“Look at the love birds Noya~” Tanaka popped up behind him, whispering in his ear jokingly. Nishinoya swished away his remake, fiddling with his elbow pad. “Come on Tanaka.” The other hung his head low with a loud sigh. “Come on bro! Are ya jealous or something!?” Jealous? Definitely. He knew what he felt but, he could never express what it was again. “Pshh, jealous?” His eyes looked up at his friend. The normal excited and sharp attitude covering up his true thoughts. “Of course! The quiet one got a girlfriend before me!” That remark made a mini chuckle escape the other's mouth. “Maybe if you grew a couple more inches you’ll find a girlfriend…” The bald one said in a teasing remake. His hand measured their height difference.

If he was looking for a reaction then he certainly would receive one. Not even a split second later the shorter male jumped up. Wrapping his arms around him as he pulled Tanaka down to his own level. His arms held him down as Tanaka tried to fight back. “Very funny buddy!” Tanaka spoke in laughter as he tried to unwind Nishinoya arms from his neck.

“Nishinoya! Tanaka!” A loud and familiar voice rang through the court. Everyone froze in place as their direction turned to the two boys starting a ruckus. Their eyes interlocked with an angry Dachi staring them down. You could see the steam coming from his ears. Immediately they froze, jumping off of each other. “It was him!” Tanaka spoke up first, only to have Noya interfere. “No way! He started!” They kept going back and forth. Blaming the others for the sudden outburst. “Oh quiet boys!” The caption sighed, a hand on his hip as his other hand rubbed the bridge of his nose. Obviously annoyed and distressed. “I don’t care who started it. You guys seriously know how to start a scene.” He spoke with a sigh, as the two boys said their own apologies. This seemed so normal. Nothing was out of place. Although, by this time Nishinoya would make his way over to his ace and rant about it. He couldn’t do that anymore. His ace was behind the sliding doors making googly eyes at his girlfriend. Asahi didn’t even see their mini toddler fight. He was too busy with hiding away his own affection behind a door.

Practice seemed longer than normal days. By this time he would still be this hyper ball of excitement. Still prancing around in the locker room as he interacted with his fellow peers. But, these past couple of months he was more quiet. Since the confession he seemed more standoffish. He didn’t bother to stay an extra second to strike up a conversation. To him, there was no need to any longer. The boy knew that some had noticed his sudden change of attitude, but for some reason they didn’t even question it. Who knew if anyone knew about what he had said to Asahi. If they did, it was in the past. There was no need to worry about it any longer.

Conversations still carried on, even if he didn’t interfere with any of them. “Asahi-kun! Are you walking home with Yua today?!” The bright ball of sunshine asked rather happily. His eyes seemed to be full of curiosity. The ace chuckled a bit in embarrassment as he rubbed the nape of his neck. “No not today Hinata. She had something to do.” The small boy whined a bit, a little pouty face running across his lips. Asahi chuckled a bit, giving him a soft look. “I really wanted to talk to her! If she’s dating my friend I want to be her friend too!” Everyone was so happy about this. Why was no one anxious that one day his supposed love for this girl would take over the sport they shared or even their own friendship? Was no one panicking about this thought besides Nishinoya?

No one would think that. No one would even second guess it. It was only in Nishinoya’s thoughts. He was the one who was hopelessly rejected as well. No wonder he was the one openly panicking. Maybe he should just forget. Maybe if he gushed over her then everything would be normal. Gosh, such weird thoughts for such a humble man.

Nishinoya was the first out the door. Letting the rest of his teammates gush over Asahi's new girlfriend. He was as quiet as a mouse that no one even flinched when he walked out. Maybe it was for the better. Walking home alone was more lonely then normal. Well, nothing seemed normal anymore. The way he talked to his teammates. The way he looked at everyone around him. He seemed so panicky and anxious every second he talked. Sometimes he couldn’t even show up to practice. Making the same excuse that he was just not feeling well. The boy knew the truth. He couldn’t stand seeing Asahi’s smile. He couldn’t see his smile directed towards the girl.

It was painful.