Save Yourself From Grace

My hands? Oh, yes they're filled with scum. My life? In monochrome. Damn painted with so many switched off moods in me. And yesterday? Didn't really go the way...I thought it would be. At least I refer to 'yesterday' but was actually in June. Damn...kinda greedy of me to say this but....I wish I could regain control. Just push the ones to be what they really are but knowing that they can't be. That was me along time ago. Well only in February and I believe ended in March?

Now that this settles it - all needed was spoken. Let me tell you....all about it.

So this girl I found or knew was a gentle lover, sweet innocent, heart warming, caring and smart. EVERYTHING a man or 'wizard' like me to have. She was all a man would want. But the this one I found was...how should I word this? A pessimist. She can't believe in herself and situations. Her thoughts and she pushed her sweet mind like hard. Really hard to the point the head of hers would ache. But where does she deliver the pain? On me and everyone else.

Though I couldn't blame her. I get stubborn well...I don't I just can't seem to take things serious enough though people everyone gets stubborn or nervous and stressed out but...forget it.

- Background Knowledge -

I saw her but wasn't really there. I felt it but she didn't feel.

'So break me down if it makes u feel right'! The indie record went. Played hard and deep like I shoved all the lyrics beats everything down my throat and damn it tasted good. But bitter disgusting taste in her mouth.

"I saw her".

The mornings with handfuls of happiness. But was bad for her. She just can't help but take it seriously like really all the songs that I had she took it and pressed it on herself like it meant to her. The songs would reveal a bad meaning to people or in this case girls so she thought it was about her but it - i mean it was but never meant hardly on her. But I couldn't blame her.

So this is how the 'yesterday' believing should've gone. Like a better story to believe in. Don't get it? Then forget it and see how it should've gone.

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June Day

She shut the basement door behind her and entered the white walled room. Stumble stuck she stood helplessly in scorching pain. Her blue dress opaque and strong. Covered her completely and toughly she seemed to be. Like that hard shield she covered her precious lingering body. But it wasn't that opaque. I saw right through her. I saw her. She was like touching a ghost. Except I never knew what her words meant. She never bothered to explained to me. God I love her.

She stalked down the stairs where she stood on the crimson carpet - kinda like the blood I choke out every pain sulking second. And ran to the bed. "Oh! Howl! How could you?!" She cried. "I thought you were that wizard who cared for me not! The man who used strong words to break me down?!?!?!??" She stormed. And at this point she screamed in pain. Ached her head with all the words I sang.

"Cause I'm soooo much more than meets the eye" was one of them.

She scarred her face with her hand dug them to cover her face and cried with thinking twice. She cried and cried. "If you want me to break you down then I will howl" she stormed in panic. She panicked knowing that she shouldn't or that she would never hurt her even though she thought I did but never did. I never intended too anyway.

My hair should've covered my guilty face. Not my songs. As I walked by slowly creeping at the side of the door where her back was on. She didn't hear me open the door or step in.

"I saw her".

I had a guy feeling in me to just comfort her telling her to not take it so seriously cause I never meant it. So I did. I placed a hand on one of her shoulders and knelt down next to her but not on the bed. It seemed seemingly wet from all those burning in agony tears. She felt my cold breath spoke to her. It was like the shivering wind blowing right through you. June seemed like a cold month.

"Sophie? I'm here to comfort you darling tell me what's wrong"? Though I had a damn good clue what was up. She stared at me and moved away. "No no! I'm done howl!" She stormed as she regretted being with me. Damn didn't I tell you I wished to regain control earlier? That was one of the moments.

I sat by her and grabbed her waist and pulled her up to sit closer. She was like a hopeless puppy that needed someone to carry them and to feed them. Except more like a wet puppy cause her dress the bed her face and hair was almost soaked with tears.

I carried her close to me till there was no gap between us. And trembled my finger on her back. That got her into me really well surprisingly. "Sophie I know what's wrong and I need you to know that I never meant it just like how you sometimes are in my state where you had something that was to me that seems a little harming but you never meant it. Like -" I paused to think of one of her hard caked up songs where you would have like NO FUCKING clue. Ah yes my head spoke. And I added. "Future song? You know that one you made but never mean it"? I got her. And got rid of this ennui. She understood it. Her brown eyes stood solid and clean. Pure and weak. Just the way she was innocent and adored. By everyone but all regards to my apprentice.

But like she would notice....

"Howl...I'm sorry to cause you pain" she whispers. "No" I placed my whole hand over her mouth. "There's no sorries, we will forget about this and abolish it from our filthy settee minds" I added. "I can't just stand by and watch you fall from grace like this again sophie...save yourself sometimes no one would help you or give you symp -" I paused. She held me tight. Her hot tears fell on my white shirt. And I held her tighter back.

I grabbed both hands on her face and she blushed. I broke my mouth in her sweet Milky Way. I broke it hard like seriously that sweetness stains my tongue. We broke in a kiss. I gently held her waist and hips and she slid her legs around me. The ends of my hair seemed to tickle her face as it laid on her face. She smiled at this knowledge And I smiled blushingly and pulled it back over my head. We laughed and broke into another kiss.

I couldn't just stand by and watch her fall from hope. Was I the sympathy? Well in this fake 'yesterday' story that I enjoy to believe. But both reality or fantasy both seemed to Have hope in the end. Hard to believe.

"I saw her"

And Everyone had that sweet recipe she'd share with us. Fake rainbows fake smiles fake laughs fake conscious fake happiness it was all CHARADES.

Yet she still painted that smile everyday. But

I

ME

HOWL

Couldn't blame her.