Coyotes: Denis

Chapter 8: Backfire

   It had been days since Benoit took his hurried leave, without even saying goodbye.

   Regardless, I had to go out to hunt. The pecarry had been a treat, but so far it was back to the usual. Scorpions, prickly pears, aloe. Nothing of real nutritional value. Most notably, there was a lucky encounter with a groundhog to get us by for the night.

   One benefit that the hardship of my recovery had, was our neighbor Maria paying more attention to our needs.

   She didn't have much, but her husband sent home money from his work in the far-off tobacco fields. And if she happened to slip a care package of rice, corn, and beans into my hands when my mother wasn't looking? Then mum was the word.

   These small gifts were a ray of light on an otherwise dreary week, because the scent on the bracelet had nearly disappeared. I hated to admit how miserable it made me.

   I didn't let it show on the outside when I went about my daily chores, but last night was tough. My mother had the luxury of a ladies' night with Maria, with drinking and giggling and singing filling the night air from her open windows.

   I went through the usual routine of putting my siblings and myself to bed, but for the first time since I saw Benoit, I was alone in the bedroom.

   The joyous sounds that flitted in from Maria's house couldn't even raise my spirits. I pressed my nose into my wrist, trying to take in what little was left of that bergamot blend.

   It felt like something in my chest was caving in with each desperate, and failed attempt to find it, until my starving gulps of air dissolved into quiet sobs, wondering what I did wrong. Something similar to grief wormed it's way into my chest, like what I held in my heart for my father.

   How had this happened? How did he have such an effect on me? /.... Why did he leave me?/

   That thought caused another round of sobs to rip from my throat, and I buried my face in the pillow to stifle it.

   Eventually, sleep found me, but not before I decided with a stubborn spirit that I would see him tomorrow.

***

   It was early when I woke up. I was only getting a few hours of sleep a night, after becoming dependent on Benoit's scent to soothe and relax me.

   But, the earlier the better to enact my plan. I couldn't take it anymore. It was hard to feed my family, even with Maria's help. And it was getting harder because I couldn't catch any sleep.

   I would be losing daylight for hunting, but hopefully this trip would solve my problems, and help me gain more than I was sacrificing.

   Benoit's family had been able to keep his father's house, so that was where I would be headed. Hopefully he hadn't decided to leave the village.

   During my shower that morning, I found myself putting extra care into my appearance. Usually I was quick, but I felt compelled to dig into the back of our little cupboard where I knew my mother kept some special soaps, conditioners, and a small bottle of perfume.

   I felt a twinge of guilt using her nice things, but it was just this once. As I dried off, my fur felt a little more luxurious from the conditioner. Having seen her apply the perfume before, I put a light spritz over my pressure points and let it soak in before giving it a quick sniff. Light, clean, and pleasant.

   Looking in our foggy little mirror, I saw the thinning, or outright bald patches of hair peeking out from the back of my neck. The stress I had been under, combined with the hot sun, had really aggravated my impulse to scratch at them. I was certain there were some scabs back there from how much I clawed the hair.