Play By The Rules ; Benjey

IV ; the window

    
Benji's POV :
TW : Mentions of suicide
I am currently laying in my bed staring at my ceiling. The sun is beginning to set and a golden hue is illuminating my room. Sometimes i just like to lay in bed and think. I rarely get any free time to myself. Between school, football practice, and going to parties 24/7, I feel like I never get time to myself to just think. Especially with my shitty father who constantly finds something to complain about and my mother who wants nothing more than for me to be her poster child. Sometimes when i'm alone, i wonder if they genuinely know me or even care enough to get to know me. I don't know. It's just, sometimes it feels like there's absolutely no one in the world who truly knows me. that is, except Cat. I don't really like to talk about it. She, um, killed herself 2 years ago. I was the one who, you know, found her. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't really feel like crying right now.
   I get out of my bed and sit at my desk. I look out my window. The neighbors window is directly in front of mine and I can see someone's bedroom. Sorta creepy to be honest. I then see a boy around my age walk by his window. Oh shit. SHIT! It's the boy from school! You gotta be fucking kidding me. There is absolutely no way that boy is my new neighbor. The boy stops and notices me. He rolls his eyes and mumbles something I obviously couldn't hear. He stares at me and gives me a questioning look. I realize that i'm staring. Shit. I shake my head and stare down at my desk. I cant believe he called me Benjamin at school today. Absolutely no one calls me that. Not even my parents. The only other person who called me that was Cat. But what's even worse is that when he called me Benjamin, it sounded kinda nice when he said it. I don't know why or how. But I liked it. The way it sounded with his accent. When he said it, It didn't make me feel sick to my stomach or make me think of Cat. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Hell, I don't even know his name. He knows my name but I don't know his. I quickly rummage through my desk until I find a notepad and paper. I messily write out,
"what is your name?" on the notepad and place it against my window. He scans the paper and furrows his eyebrows before meeting my eyes with a look I can't read. He then scrambles around his room to find a notepad I assume. He quickly writes out something and holds up his notepad.
Even his handwriting is pretty. What what? I read the notepad and he has written,
"Suck my dick" in cursive. I look up at him and can't help but to smirk. He's sassy. I kinda like it. He shoots me a sarcastic smile and flips me off before closing his curtains. I laugh. He's annoying but it's cute. Uh. Well, not in a weird way or anything. I didn't mean... I didn't mean that in like a gay way. Just...you know. Fuck, whatever.