The Invisible String

Curiosity (1x3)

* Spencer POV*

It's crazy to believe that I have been in the BAU for about 2 years now. I've come to see the whole team as my family even if I haven't said it out loud. The thing is though despite having this "family", there are two other people in this world who I will never stop thinking about which are my mom and my best friend Celestina or as I usually call her Cel or Selene (the greek moon goddess, one of her favorites).

Celestina was my best friend from back when I lived in Las Vegas especially since she had been my next-door-neighbor since we were both 6-years-old after she moved from Manhattan, New York. I clicked with her instantly after I found out she was a genius like me and so we became the best of friends. She helped me through so much in my life and I helped her, we were each other's support system.  Unfortunately, when we moved to California for college, we attended different schools and slowly drifted away. Although, we lost contact I have never forgotten her or the memories I have of her. I have tried to keep up with her life as best as I could but my technophobia makes it difficult to do so, the last thing I saw about her was that she had just gotten her 5th degree. I really hope to reunite with her one day, hopefully soon.

Honestly, in the past two years I have seen how Garcia can uncover anything about a person on her computer with a click of a button. I am always tempted to ask Garcia if she could look up Cel for me but at the same time I feel that Cel hates me since I haven't made any attempt to contact her. I haven't told anyone about her though because while I love Cel and the team individually, I wouldn't want to expose Cel to all the craziness that I experience. I want to continue protecting her even if I am miles away. Sometimes when I go back to visit my mom, I hope to run into Cel and just hug her again which is a big deal because Cel is one of the very few people I will willing hug.

It's the middle of October which means my birthday, Halloween, and Cel's birthday are coming up soon. I don't really like celebrating my birthday because the last great one I had was at age 15, the last time I saw Cel in person and when my mom had her worst schizophrenic episode. Since that day I have not celebrated my birthday because it has never felt right without either of them present. However, every birthday I make the same wish because despite the superstition, I like to believe the universe holds some power much like the three fates of greek mythology which I had learned from Cel. She was obsessed with greek mythology and eventually she became obsessed with other myths. All my knowlegde of mythology comes from Cel's love for it because I would learn them with her just to see the smile on her face.

For the past couple of years, I have been writing birthday letters for Cel and have kept them in a box since I couldn't mail a single one. I've been holding on to them, waiting for the day that I can give them all to her and apologize for not holding on harder to our friendship. I really miss Cel, I haven't been able to bond with anyone else as quickly as I could with her. Some nights, I end up dreaming about spending time with Cel again; sometimes I dream of us being kids and other times I dream of us if we were to meet again now. To be honest, for the past year I've come to realize that I might have feelings for Cel even though it's been years. I want to reach out to her and confess my feelings but I doubt that she would ever feel the same way and I don't want to ruin our friendship. If I ever lost Cel for any reason, I wouldn't be able to continue with my life. Everytime I hear we have a case in Vegas or California, I'm scared that I will see her as one of the victims we couldn't save and that is a constant nightmare I have.

I just hope that nothing ever happens to her before I get the opportunity to tell her everything that I have been holding on to, both verbally and physically. Anyways, it's about time that I head off to the conference room because I think we have a case since I just saw JJ walk by with some case files in her hand.