Monster || C.BG x S.RJ

XXI

Dearest Beom,

                Hey, it's me, the pink hair girl who got lost in your world. Sounds funny right? But yes, I got lost and you found me. The night when you saved me, I didn't felt anything, I mean, feels like we've met before that night, have we met before? But even if we have met before, it will not change the fact that we need to let go of our feelings. I am writing this not because my farewell but a goodbye, goodbye to our feelings. I was never loved and I have never been inlove. I don't know those kind of feelings, I just thought that it is for people who deserves it and I don't deserve that one. I am not used to those kind of flattering words, I just don't feel it. I am ignorant to the word, romantic. But guess what? You slowly changed me.

                 Your voice that soothes, your touch that sends tingling, your smiles that making my days. I love those, I love every part of you but are too many to mention. I am kinda disappointed at myself for allowing you to touch every girls, I always saw you with girls and I would be lying if I said that I feel numb. It really hurts me Choi. It really hurts that you are touching them, your lips are touching their skin, it really hurts me that, you are saying I love you to other girls.

                   But it's such a shame if I demand of you breaking up with my sister. My sister was the first one to know you, and I am just no one that you've saved when I needed help. Do you love my sister? Or you're just playing our feelings? If yes is your answer, then please stop. I played with you already but my sister don't deserve the play so please love her like the realest love you have shown in your existence.

                  It's such a selfish to think that I am only the one who is deciding but I don't care anymore. It is the best for us, the best for you. I only think of you so please be happy. You don't deserve a woman who is a loner and don't have anything else.

                 I enjoy every moment with you. I am happy whenever I am with you. I am sad when you are sad. I love how you protected me. I love how adorable you're around with me. I love you. I love you even you don't say the same word. I love you even if you love someone else. I love you that I can't smile when I can't take a glimpse of you. I love you until my last breath.

                 Remember when I said “143” and you don't know its meaning? It is popular but you are whining like a kid, complaining to me because you don't have a clue of its meaning, it was so cute. I really love thinking of that numbers, 143-I love you. I always think about you when that numbers enter to my mind. And I am sorry to say this but, the 143 is slowly changing to 153, I loved you.