Fifty shades of cray

THINGS GET REEL WEER REEL FAST

This is a love story about one precocious young lad and a vindictive young las. Fall in love as these two fall face first into individual tins of lemon pie.

XOXOXOXCOCKXOXOXOXOX
AMELIA

Red sweatshirt. pee stain down the left leg. pee stain down the right leg. messy hair. pee stain soaking messy hair (primary raisin for messiness) pee stain.......
And she was all yellow. I AM A GHOST!!!!!!! She smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her fuck! A train! Look out! and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her. This is the only thing i have left. Amelia you're the only one I've ever loved. and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her.... scene....cut...paste......neck.....pee stain.....
and she smiled down at him and he smiled down at her........

Three days later Amelia awoke to a dusty ol' saloon with a fine looking gent behind the bar. "oye fuck boii you fixin to serve me some grub or nah?" She questioned in a light german accent. The man at the bar smirked and fixed her a double whiskey on the rocks. She watched the easy glide of his hand fitted nicely inside his trim tweed suit. "I take it you don't come around here often?" He husked in an equally german accent. The man was beautiful he had at least two eyes, a nose for smelling and several other useful facial features you would find on a hüman (GUYS OMG SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT HES SO HOT OMG!!!! HAHAHA CANT EVEN WRITE THIS W/O SCREAMING) "He leaned awkwardly on the bar and caught his sleeve in the candle" the attractive waiter glared at Amelia as she spoke his actions aloud. The waiter swore and cursed loudly. The waiter tapped his fashionably clad feet to the beat of his swears and started a rap. (OMG YOU GUYS MY STEP-DADS JUST WALKED IN AND THEY WERE LIKE WHY THE FRICK ARE YOU YELLING I REGRET ADOPTING YOUR SORRY ASS EVERYDAY AND I WAS LIKE DADS COME HERE I HAVE TO READ YOU THIS DESCRIPTION OF THIS GUY ITS SO HOT AND THEY WERE LIKE FUCK OFF YOU ASSFACED MISTAKE! HAHA LMAO PARENTS AM I RITE????!).
The rap i promised you guys:

I am so mad at you
You assfaced prick i fuckn hate you
You are so lame and gay
I want to shove your face in my horses hay (for the point of this rap theyre at the stables)
I want to stab your mom in the face?
Dont worry though ill do it at a nice slow pace so she can taste the haste.
Mic drop

Amelia gravbed the reigns of her lucky pony, Mint magic, and walked away in shame. "Mint magic wheel never make it to nationals," she cried in a thick german accent.

Three years later Amelia and the super hot bar guy were married with a baby on the way and she was pregnant. "lets name him Hardin, Hardin Steels," said Amelia. Her handsome bartender husband who was a bartender agreed that it would be a wonderful name for the young chap.
Two years later Amelia gave birth to her handsome little boy, Hardin. "Hardin will Harden the hearts of everyone around him," Amelia chortled, as she did some racks of cocaine.
Tivo

Two years later Amelia gave birth to her beautiful little boy Hardin steels.

24 years later

"Mr. Steels you have a visitor," whispered Candace lamps, a stylish secretary at The steel mill, Haroldin's successful prostitution ring. Hagrid nodded and whisked his slender fingers in the cut it out motions from Full House, signaling to Candace Lamps that she could just go ahead and let them in. Candace nodded and rang the buzzer. A few minutes later an awkward plain girl showed her face at his door. "Hello, i am Ayeemee." Harold nodded and asked her to sit down. She stayed standing, she was badass af.
After their wittle talk Hazzles learned that Ayyeemee wanted to interview him for her blog, Amelia likes pie. Hardeline was delighted, he'd been interviewed only once before after tripping onto the field from the top bleacher at a saints game, he'd been in the hospital for two months.