~A Manor of Desire~ Identity V x Reader One Shots/ Lemons/ headcanons

~ Jailbreak~ Luca x Fem! reader

WARNING! 

THIS IS A CRACKFIC

"Luca!"

nothing

"Luca balsa!"

still nothing.

y/n rolled up her sleeves

"WAKE UP YOU RAT FUCK! IT BE PRANK TIME"

She screamed grabbing the males ankles  and yoinking him out of his bed.

"JeSuS fUcK-"

"Do NOT Use the lord's name in vain, ya bitch."

Y/n slapped the back of his head.

Luca sat in the corner chibi crying.

"So MEAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"Come on ya cuck. letsa go~"

y/n crawled out the window like the demon in the ring.

"Yee~"

Luca followed.

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"PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU!"

Y/n shouted throwing Luca at an angry baguette man.

"PIKA!"

Luca yelled shocking him. Both weirdo's noped the fuck away from him.

"I JUST WANT ONE NORMAL DAY!" 

He screamed after them.

====

"Hey fan!"

"No."

"c'mon bro~"

"no."

Y/n inhaled deeply. 

"FanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFanFan-"

"HOlY HELL WHAT?!"

"Xie and i were hella drunk last night and I'm pretty sure we fucked."

he went still his eyes wide.

"You're gonna be an uncle... Yay?"

"I think you broke him."

luca said.

"Whoops."

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"Xie~~~~~~"

"Oi, oreo man"

"Hoe, you best listen."

" You umbrella wielding q-tip LISTEN!"

"Yes?" the tall pale boi asked with a sigh.

"your husband- i mean brother, may be broken in the other room."

"WHAT?" he shouted.

"It was kevin."

"WHAT?!"

"He needs you, fam."

Xie rushed towards the door, but as soon as he opened it a bucket of lime green paint splattered all over him.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screeched, but as he turned the short ass human was nowhere to be found.

=======

"You did what with her flare gun?"

"Replaced the flare with glitter"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Why though?"

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"Luca! use Autism!"

"My name jeff!"

"Bro wtf?" kevin muttered as he hung by his legs from the chandelier tied with his lasso.

=======

" hey hey hey!"

"Don't you dare" 

"Today's the day!"

"I'm scared."

"To admit you're gay!"

y/n took off.

"How tf did she know?" muttered aesop.

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"hey, jack" y/n asked as she kited his life away.

"What?" he asked as she dropped a pallet on his head and yeeted her body through a window. 

" do you know what that sound is?"

"what sou-?" the exit gated blared their annoying ass airhorn.

"It's the sound of your failure~" she laughed only to choke on said laugh as his eyes glowed red with detention.

"no. we are not doing this again." he said 

"You sure about that?" she asked as brain damage prison child did the zippy zap to the ripper.

"God fuck-" he yelled as y/n and her accomplice both became sonic.

"No swearing in this, goddamn, motherfucking, house jack." she called back.

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End