Life

GettoFuckingKnowMe

Dear Diary,

Fuck you, fuck everything. To be completely honest I'm tired of living this sorry ass excuse of a life. I'm sure you're thinking, 'oh but Genevieve you're only sixteen, you have so much more life to live!!' Bullshit. I'm in my prime right now and I'm watching it pass me by. Sure, I smoke (weed you fuckers), pop tabs, and somehow still manage to play soccer on a decent team but like... life is so fucking boring. I may sound like a whiny little bitch but trust me, staying in the same state, the same house, the same family for sixteen years is tearing me apart. I feel so caged, I wanna go see the world before it turns to shit, but no I'm fucking stuck here. Along with being trapped in one fucking place longing for some adventure, something new, whatever I fucking do gets judged by my family. Oh, you like Lil Peep? You're a depressed fuck. Oh, we think you're depressed and struggling mentally? Be more grateful for what you have. Oh, you came home in a bad mood? You don't have a right to be in a bad mood, but when I'm in a bad mood you have to treat me so nicely. It's bullshit, complete and utter bullshit. I am at my wit's end, I am about to explode. Do I show signs of mental disorders? Yes, possibly, but the fact that they acknowledge this and just tell me to suck it up is bullshit. Then they dare to try and control me, like bitch, you don't give a flying fuck about me you can't control shit, I'm gonna do what I want cause it's my fucking life. So fuck you.

Ok, teenage angst rant over. You're probably wondering why I'm so angry at my parents? It's more like a parent, but I wanna make it a little more dramatic ya know? No, my parents aren't divorced, it's just one alcoholic little bitch who doesn't do shit. *Cough* my dad. Before you ask, yes this is going to be a daddy issues story, suck my cock. Now that I'm done being a little bitch, here's a little about me in a bulletin list.

I love to complainI'm blondeTo be honest I don't give a shit about what anyone thinksI'm tallI love drugsI've been rejected by a therapist before (my biggest flex)Somehow every other adult besides my parents think I'm a great kid (shocking)I think I'm addicted to sex (too much info?)

Done with the shitty shit, now onto what I do love about my life. My two best friends, one of them is my boyfriend but like he counts right? The other one, her name is Karoline. Weird spelling right? I give her shit for it every day, I also give her shit for dying her hair black once; she will never live down her nickname "emo." I get it, it's stereotypical shut the fuck up. But in reality, she's the exact opposite of emo, and of me. We are exact opposites all the way down to our looks, me being blonde and grey-eyed, her being brown hair brown eyes. Oh, and her personality is sooooooooooooooooooo bubbly, it's hard for some to swallow. The thing we do have in common is we're both straight up. I remember one time I was outta bud and would steal my dad's vodka-like every night, along with using some sharp shit (yeah I know, I'm the emo one) but she straight up told me that she might have to cut me off. Hurt like a bitch, but me being me was like yeah, I get it I'm toxic to myself do what's good for you, I don't care. So we took a little friendship break, I finally pushed it to my limits with the vodka (half a water bottle baby) I couldn't eat for the next two days, aaaaaaaaand to top it all off I got broken up with when I was in one of my lowest lows (I've had a lot.) We're back together now 'cause I'm too forgiving, but that's for another time. Back to where I was, this was when I realized goddamn, I had a problem. Karoline and I eventually fixed everything, and this was when I began to fix *some* of my problems. I was forced to stop drinking 'cause anytime I smelled vodka I wanted to throw up my intestines, but I had also gone for a whole month without relapsing on cutting (I did fuck that up eventually.)

Now for the non-physical joys of my life. Soccer. Simple as that. Soccer gives me that rush that I get from doing the risky shit that I'll tell y'all soon. The next thing. Drugs. I would've never guessed this one coming! Last but not least, pissing people off. It's just funny

Ok, that's all for now, I'm probably gonna tell a story next time I write. Have a great day.

Fuck you.