A Daughter's Plight

2.

Suddenly my phone rang, I abruptly jumped out of the bed after seeing the caller id ‘Raunak’

NO. NO, NO THAT IS JUST NOT POSSIBLE. HOW COULD…I closed my eyes for a splint moment and looked at my phone bravely to pick it up. And It was an unknown number. I sighed loudly. UFF!! My mind was playing those silly games.
The unknown voice on the other side stated already known fact "your friend is dead.”

Of course I knew that MY FRIEND…WAS DEAD. But why was it feeling so new. Fresh unchecked tears were rolling down my cheeks. And I could no longer bother to clean them up. My heart felt sicken. This was some new pain hovering and blurring my mind. This pain could not make his return and those thoughts made me worse.

The ticking of watch on the wall was loud that night. I knew, that was the time for which I waited for eternity. I had to go to look at that man suffering. But my limbs felt paralyzed. I just could not stand on my numb feet. I am ALONE again. I was whining over the miseries that I have made.

After like many hours, I dragged my feet to mourn my friend or more than mourning I was going to see that man suffering, crying for his mistakes. I was going with a determination that I’ll confess to him about my real identity. “I am Ridhima, daughter of your best friend. That best friend whom you murdered, I don’t know for some some money… I guess.’’

The way to his house was feeling too long that day. The trees and road was just a blur. My mind was occupied by him. If someone would have came in front of my car that day, I would have murdered another person in a single day or I could have killed myself. But frankly I couldn’t care much that day.

Finally, the house was visible through my teary eyes. There was crowd of around twenty people in his house. Crowd of those people whom I don’t recognize. My eyes were searching for only a single individual. I was there to see Mr Mahajan but my eyes were burning in the search of Raunak.

Bravely I went to meet that murderer. That day, I could have gone in front of mirror and could find the murderer suffering. But no, I wanted to see my dad’s murderer. That poor soul had denied to meet anyone and trapped himself inside. There’s no way, I was not going to sit and mourn. In the big hall, there was portrait of my handsome friend and no corpse. The body must have melted in burning chemicals. I cringed at the thought. That was ruthless. My friend’s life was not too long but it was definitely big. He earned all these people who could cry for him unlike me. Leave others, I too won’t pity my death. 

I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. On turning around, it was a cop investigating death.
“You must be Ridhima. Someone told me he was your best friend.”

Fearing my words might betray me, I just gave a small nod.
“You have to come to police station on Monday for your statement.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed to speak, “Sure’’

I felt my feet running towards my car to exit the place as soon as my legs could take. Later, I got the news that Raunak’s father was admitted to hospital due to cardiac arrest.

That night was sleepless with burning eyes and bursting head. My eyes refused to close that night. Soon, I could feel the sun peeping through curtains. I lied there for some more time.
                                               …………...............................
Today, it was almost noon when I went to my living room with the bottle of sleeping pills. Not to suicide but only to catch some sleep. I sat on the same couch my friend was sitting just two days ago. I could feel the rustling of the paper in between the seat of couch. It was a letter from my friend. I recognize his handwriting, it was him.

I read the letter. At the age of ten I found my dad’s letter and now his. Two things were common in both of their letters. More than letters, they were suicide notes and another common thing both of them changed my thinking. My DAD’S letter filled me with rage and REVENGE while my FRIEND’S letter filled me with regret and remorse.

Another turning point, and I am here alone again. Standing at my regular Sunday place. This bridge over river. I don’t remember how I reached here. My mind was engrossed with memories. The noise of these waves under this bridge are also not able to calm my nerves today. 

Raunak somehow managed to know about my evil side. He read my diary that day. He wanted me to be happy. If that happiness could only be brought from his sacrifice. He sacrificed his life for me. But more than happiness, my heart is filled with guilt. He intentionally called for my help. He wanted his father to feel bad for what he did. But here I am in more bad state. I read and reread that letter at least ten times.

Last lines of letter mention “ I KNOW YOU WILL BE READING THIS WHEN I’LL BE GONE.  I KNOW YOU ARE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO AND IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO THIS THEN YOU WILL DEFINATELY PASS WITH FLYING COLOURS IN COMPLETING THIS TASK.  I KNOW YOU ARE SMART BUT THIS TIME, I OVERSMARTED YOU MY FRIEND."

I could feel hair behind my neck standing and a chill ran down my spine causing me to shiver. The point in my conversation with him where I felt we were on the same page, we were actually thinking alike. Now I can recall he dropped every hint. About my secret being spilled out, if I was sure about my action and also at the end near doorframe it was not his goofy smile. Instead he winked and smirked at me. He was mocking me. It was not me who planned his murder, he himself planned for his death.

My friend is…gone. I fell on my knees, howling. My crying came like hysterics. I wish this bridge could open right now and death consume me. I no longer want to stay here.
I try to speak to my loneliness but my voice come only like a little shriek, “DAD Yuh were correct this world is not for good people, this is hell where satan reign Good people like you and Raunak are above with almighty who will definitely do the justice. I and your murderer are here living in a hell. I am sorry Dad, SO…RRY papa, your daughter is not like you. She is more like your murderer.” It is becoming hard to breath but I want to talk. Today out of all days I feel like he can listen to me, “Dad I might have become same like your murderer but I am not like him. My mind was not able to think anything beyond revenge like handcuffs restrain the movement of hands, my mind was also restrained by rage filled in me…Tomorrow, Monday I will surrender myself. No Dad I am definitely not like your murderer. I refuse to accept that. Please just take care of my friend. he is new there.” with that I lye on the bridge when a drop of rain fell over my cheek making me feel that my dad must also be crying over mine fate and what I have made of myself. I decided to give a final look to the good people’s home  “GOODBYE, Dad and Raunak, you are both safe there.  I…I’ll miss you.’’