The New American Dream

Part Three: After | Chapter Twelve

When I opened my eyes on September 1st I felt a strange mixture of feelings. On one hand I wanted to turn back around, fall asleep and never wake up again. My medication had been readjusted one last time for the next month at least and it wasn't nearly strong enough for my taste. Too many bad emotions still filtered through, at the same time it made me strangely dizzy.

On the other hand I was weirdly excited. The past months had been incredibly exhausting and I was kind of happy to at least get my life back to normal to some extend.

After searching for my will to live for a good twenty minutes and not really finding it I decided to get up after all. I rolled out of bed and dragged my tired body to the bathroom where I put my hair in a ponytail, that would have to do. I didn't have the energy to do anything with it, I considered myself lucky that I had washed my hair the evening before. My teeth were quickly brushed and my face quickly washed, then I wandered back into my room. I didn't have time for elaborate makeup, but neither did I have the energy for it. I didn't even have the energy for a subtle makeup look. Sunscreen would have to do for the day.

My clothes I had already picked out the night before in the knowledge it would be better that way. As you would have guessed, I didn't have the energy. Had I not picked them out already I would have probably just put on sweatpants. Instead I put on black skinny jeans and a band shirt together with my black converse. Nothing elaborate, nothing I couldn't handle.

I didn't even put on any necklaces. Mark's was still gone and I didn't want to wear any other if I didn't have it. Sure, I had multiple other necklaces from him and my friends but I wanted this one or none, simple as that. The bracelet that he had given me stayed on all the time anyway so I just added a few more to cover up the scars on my arm.

Good enough. Better than sweatpants.

My total lack of desire to make something out of myself actually made me early. Slowly I made my way to the staircase when I heard sniffling from Louisa's room and decided to investigate. I might not have had much energy but that did intrigue me or more so confused me. I thought I had been the only sad person in this house.

Louisa didn't notice me quietly pushing her door open and walk into her room, she had her back turned to me and was bent over something on her desk.

Well that's awkward now...

"Uh, Lou?" I asked carefully.

With a gasp she spun around to me, shock on her face. There was something in her hand, I saw the golden shimmer briefly, but she held it behind her back.

"Are you... alright? I heard you crying..." I tried to explain my presence.

"Yeah, I'm... fine. Yeah fine," she said quickly.

I stepped closer to her because the whole situation seemed off. Louisa wanted to take a step backwards but her back hit her desk so I could advance without a problem. I peeked around her to see what was lying on her desk and it seemed to be a photograph, I could only make out two people on it, nothing more though. With one swift motion she picked it up and held it behind her back as well.

"What are you doing?" I asked confused. "What do you need to hide from me?"

Louisa took a step sidewards in another attempt to get away from me but whatever she was holding in her hand had gotten caught on her pencil holder and now the whole thing clattered to the floor, scattering pencils everywhere, the object in her hand landing in the middle of it all.

There was a stunned silence when I recognized what she had been hiding from me.

"My necklace?" I asked confused and bend down to grab it from between her pencils before she could. "What the hell are you doing with my necklace?" I demanded.