The way back

The vexed landlord

The vexed landlord

The carriage stopped, and the abrupt jolt brought me straight back to consciousness. One moment I was floating in a sea of dreams, engulfed by the warmth of those lost that belonged to a world I was forever exiled from.

The next I felt the wintry December night deep in my bones.

I shivered.

My eyes opened unwillingly and met another pair of wiser grey ones. They seemed worried. His voice never betrayed his emotions, of course.

- 'We are here' he said.

- 'I can wait...' I began.

- 'No, you're cold and anyway I need your help. Haven't I said as much'? his tone evasive.

I sighed impatiently and pulled my overcoat tighter around me, it wasn't enough to keep the cold away tonight. What type of business could possibly make an army Head doctor- a man who not only saved lives but overlooked others while doing it- seek the help of a young inexperienced teacher barely out of high school. This couldn't be a regular patient visit.

I bit my lip instead of asking him.

- 'I don't believe that, you know'. I said and remained unmoving.

Why was he so cryptic all of a sudden? This was so unlike him. The doctor is a simple man whatever was in his mind he said it at once. I loved that about him. No secrets.

- 'You promised' he reminded me and took a step back. Waiting. He wouldn't move unless I did.

I was tempted to let both of us freeze to death. But my need to escape Istanbul and quite honestly the cold was greater. So, I huffed as loudly as I could, gathered my bag, ignored his extended arm for support and descended from the carriage. I started walking toward the first house lights I could see ahead and let a smirk spread on my face, pleased to find there was still a bit of fight left in me. The sooner we deal with this "obligation" he's been pestering me about, the sooner we'll get out of here. Same feeling different reasons.

We both disliked the city.

The memories here were too painful for me, so I humored him.

- 'Which way are you going Feride'? He sounded slightly annoyed now and I resisted the urge to laugh. A small victory for me. It seemed as if to annoy people was my goal in life.

- 'Come here child before I come there and drag you myself'. The old man threatened.

I started laughing and the carriage man looked at me as if I was crazy. I laughed harder. The doctor gave him a couple of shillings and sent him away. The poor man seemed relieved to say the least.

The doctor proceeded to unhang his walking stick from the top of his wrist and pointed at the road we were meant to take then extended his arm once more for me. This road was poorly illuminated, frankly other than the one lamp at the corner ahead of us the rest of it seemed entirely veiled in darkness. I took his arm eagerly.

The walk was quiet, but my unvoiced questions seemed to fill the air between us. For some reason his unprecedented evasiveness made me hold back too. The doctor glanced at me and the worry was back again in his eyes. He coughed once and despite the fact that he didn't fall into a fit this time, the terrible cough still managed to make his large frame shake violently.

I knew it was getting worse. He did too.

- 'Don't you worry your stubborn little head. It's only a cold'. He lied for my benefit. 'It'll pass you know...but...".