Maroon

Chapter 1: Max

"Bye Max!" my friend Kate waves goodbye to me; a bright smile shining on her face as usual; and it honestly suits her; she has long red wavy hair, a pale face, green eyes, and a million freckles spreading across her face. She smiles so much that she makes it seem natural; for me, I don't smile much, and if I do my face hurts; I think my face is broken. I wave and turn my back to her speed walking my way to my locker, I kneel down and turn the combination 15, 25, 33; I push the handle up a few times until it finally opens. As I'm packing everything in my backpack - language arts journal, a few math assignments, stuff like that - my locker neighbor Leilah walks up to her locker and starts turning the lock.

She quietly mumbles her combination as it's turning and her locker door magically opens with one try, I glance back at my locker giving it a piercing stare why can't you do that locker? I look back to see her fumbling with her backpack zipper and after a few seconds of awkward silence she jump-starts a conversation "So, have any homework?" she says tucking her social studies journal into her backpack; with a slight chuckle in my voice I reply "of course; this is middle school after all, can't expect any less" she giggles slightly at my comment as I'm putting on a song on my phone and plugging in my headphones; I almost skip down the hallway as I'm humming to the melody.

I walk through the halls blending in with the crowd of 6th, 7th and 8th graders as the whole world goes quiet and all I can hear is music. The silence is broken as my left earbud falls out of my ear "goddammit" as I trying to get a grasp of my earbud I hear whispers as I walk by a group of preppy boys and girls "ew it's the tranny haha" "disgusting" "homo" "fucking dike." It's not like I haven't heard it all before; you don't exactly come out as transgender and gay and suddenly the whole school is on your side; there are bound to be some transphobic kids who want to comment on how you present yourself as if they don't have anything better to do. I put my left earbud back in restoring the peace, my peace; they laugh as I walk by.

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The door clicks open as I drag my body forward dropping my backpack to the floor and when I reach the edge of the couch my body comes tumbling down landing onto the couch; a sigh of relief escapes me "aah I've missed you so much couch." My mom must have heard me because she then walks out of her bedroom in a robe with a face mask on, a toothbrush in her mouth, and towel wrapped around her head "oh ay sheetie" I groan in response to her gibberish "might wanna spit out your toothpaste first mom" as I say that she rushes into the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth, and of course even after having to deal with those preppy idiots I still have to deal with my mom giving me gender dysphoria as usual, typical.

I want to tell her desperately, and I know she'll be accepting, but I don't know how to; plus adding the fact that I'm a huge coward with no self-confidence at all is also a huge negative in this situation. My mom walks back in now wearing a t-shirt and sweats "so what do you want for dinner I'm getting take out since I'm not up for cooking today" I grin "seafood sounds pretty good right now" she smiles from ear to ear "great idea!" another example of a bright smile, something I clearly can't pull off; maybe my face really is broken.

It's just been my mom and me for as long as I can remember. I guess you could say my childhood wasn't exactly hugs, kisses, and sunshine as my dad was always either yelling at me and my mother or drinking often even both. And one night when I heard my mom screaming and my dad yelling I called the police, and I haven't seen him since. But I can't help but remember... A tear stained face... Bruises all over her body... I never want to see my mother like that ever again. "I'm going to go out to get the food; I'll be back in a bit" the door opens and closes and the room goes silent. I'm so tired; maybe I'll rest my eyes for a bit. Once again the door opens and shuts as my mom drops the take out on the table; my mom shouts with glee "Lets eat!"