Spring Won't Come

Twenty-One: Manny

Manny wrapped his arms around Alice the moment that she opened the door. She didn't reject his embrace, just listened patiently as he blubbered hysterically about his parents, Kayla, and the fallen building. When his tears had stopped enough for him to speak clearly, they sat down together on the couch.

Alice watched him carefully, a box of tissues in hand. She handed Manny one each time the tears started up again. He was grateful for her tender care; he had barely held it together when he had spoken to Kayla.

Manny was snug in Alice's arms, her hands rubbing his shoulders and running through his hair. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. Here, for now, he was safe.

"Think you can tell me what happened," Alice said gently.

"It was an accident," Manny said, well aware that this was a lie. He had been glad about what he had done, at least, in that moment. Now, the reality of his actions had settled in. He was a murderer.

"What happened?" Alice said again. She stroked his head, her fingers soft and loving.

"I went home," Manny said, "and Kayla was there. Our parents were having dinner. We got into a fight and I brought the building down on them. I didn't mean to hurt them, I was just so angry!"

Alice shushed him, like a mother comforting a balling child. "From what you've told me, your father must have antagonized you. It's not your fault."

"I feel like everything is falling apart," Manny said, his voice nasally from his tears. "I thought things were going to get better and now it's all ruined."

His life had changed so drastically, Manny realized. A few weeks ago, he was just trying to get through the days. He was tired, he was miserable, and he was without a reason to live.

Manny had thought about killing himself before, he'd told Isaiah as much. His friend, his dead friend, had been one of the few things keeping him alive. He'd been ecstatic when he and Isaiah had started the band. It seemed like an impossible dream, but it kept him going.

Manny listened to the ticking clocks, a reminder of how much had changed. His meeting of Alice had been the best thing to have happened to him in a long time. The band seemed not just like a possible dream, but a new future. Then Isaiah had died, a cruel end to that dream.

"I feel like the punchline to some inside joke between God and the Devil. I'm not laughing. I'm just tired, Alice. God, I'm so tired."

Alice tightened her arms around Manny, flooding him with a warmth that kept his tears at bay. She kissed him on the crown of his head and began to hum a low tune. Manny shut his eyes; it sounded like a lullaby.

"Alice," Manny said softly, "I don't want to live anymore."

Alice stopped her humming and stoked his hair. "Life can be cruel," she said. "But that doesn't mean you should stop living, I say you do the opposite. You take the harshness of life and you start anew."

"How can I do that?" Manny asked. How could he possibly pick up his life when so much had gone wrong?

"I'll take care of you," Alice said. "I can keep you safe, I promise."

Manny's eyes welled, for the umpteenth time. He wanted so desperately to believe Alice. He wanted to believe that there was still someone in the world that could care for him, but could she keep him safe from the power that he'd unleashed on his parents?

"I'm dangerous," he said. "People are afraid of me, and they should be. All the kids at school think I'm a freak. Kayla thinks I'm some kind of psycho killer. What if they're all right to be afraid?"