Mr. Perfect

Three

The sound of classical music filled my ears as I stood still in the elevator waiting as the passing dings flitted in the background to my thoughts.
"I hope this is simple"
"Painless"

The doors dinged open and I could smell the Chanel. Girls of only 12 or 13 stared blankly while their mothers picked their dresses and decided their future. Dress after dress after dress passed before my eye I like the proper pretty dresses and chose a simple white dress with a white ribbon around the mid section and the top of the dress in lace, it was gorgeous and fitting for my "reputation" it was perfect. However, it was a surprise when my mother looked disapprovingly, there's nothing To disapprove, it was perfect, it was something I could definitely imagine her picking for me even. Why was she saying no?

I looked at the dresses some more looking at my mothers face from the corner of my eye gauging her reaction and choosing the dress I will try accordingly. She doesn't know it but I've always done this. I've found that pleasing her is the only way to go. Fifteen dresses chosen and now I chose the ones I like and from that I try them on, gauge reaction of mom, and from that gauge my reaction. This takes hours and we won't even be buying a dress today. Only holding it. From then I'll be losing up to ten pounds and getting a fitting so the dress can look most pleasing.

Trying on dresses I noticed a trend, deep v necks and slim fit also, what was my mother doing, I'm very well known for being proper and cute and pure not slim and sexy or anything like that.
"He will love you in that" my mother said as she looked to the sales lady looking to strike up conversation. I was wearing a white lace dress with a deep cut v and a mermaid fit. The infamous unknown man is mentioned again I noticed. I hope it isn't Nate, I watched him pick his nose and eat a booger in the 3rd grade and now I've seen him making out with countless girls with that mouth.

I'm yanked out of the dress and put into my clothing. The dress is put up and away ready for a fitting in a week. In 2 weeks it will be prepared for the debutante ball and I will be a bag of bones, I'm already 17, looking 14, I'm 5 foot 5 and 120 pounds, if anything I want to gain weight to fill out a dress and look like a woman. Another 10 or so pounds would be nice. Instead I'm going to be loosing that much.

All the while I can't help but think, who is this guy anyway? Surely he won't like to see ribs in the place of boobs. And perhaps he would also like to see curves and such. What does my mother think she is doing making me loose weight? If anything she is ruining it, not fixing or making better. She doesn't get it, but then again what do I know I've never been with a boy, much less a man, how old is he? How young is he? All these thoughts were frustrating.

"How old is he?" I asked my mother. she looked at me quickly then ahead.

"22" she said simply as if it were nothing. 22, hes been able to drink for a year now, and no doubt not a virgin and oh dear me that knocks Nate out of the possibilities thank god and nick as well so that leaves all the men I don't know, not sure if that's comforting or terrifying. But wait, oh no wait, he's not living with his parents, he is 5 years older than me, hm, just realized I don't want to be in a room alone with him and I definitely don't want to be on a date with him. That's way too much of an age gap in my mind. Sure a little age gap is nice, like a year maybe, and some experience can be sexy but having so much to where I could disappoint them and they could teach me and do terrifying things like that. Worse off I have no sex drive, I don't get horny and when I do I'm pretty sure I just have to pee and mistake it for that or something.

As the day went on we had brunch, looked at diamonds for the dress and shoes and decided some new diamond earrings would look nice along with my diamond necklace. And as for shoes, 4 inch classic heels that were simple black as they would be hidden by the dress. My mother wanted to go higher to make me look "sexy" as that's what this mystery guy liked but I'm terribly clumsy and used to short heels or even flats, and why does my mom want to be with him anyway I'm nowhere near sexy, 14 isn't sexy, looking 14 at 17 isn't sexy. Nothing about me is sexy. And I'm known for being innocent and pure so I'm not sure where she is getting any of this. I stick my toung out when I work out, I have small hips, I'm not model height, I have acne scars, I look 14 may I repeat, and I have big feet, and broad shoulders and yeah so no mother not a good person to match up.

Frustration set in on the way home and of corse it was blank face silently screaming watching the world pass by, you know all that stuff. "Who is he?" I asked quietly as my mother sipped wine in the limo.

"Sorry, I can't tell you" she said not looking at me. She said it as if the conversation was finished. As if I would ask no more questions, was he that bad? Was he seriously so bad that my mother didn't want me knowing his name for fear I might look him up and see him or what he's done with his life?

Just why is this happening?