Life is like a pebble : My pebble is broken

Untitled Part 1

It is a gray so light that you can barely tell. Its smooth though it still has small craters almost as if it has been bitten at ; but not broken. Its like people in a way except that people break easier than rocks. To break a rock you have to use a hammer. To break people all you have to do is say a few mean things and bully them. To others you have to make them see death. 

I'm broken.

They didn't do it ; I did. I broke myself so that things wouldn't hurt. I broke myself so that when people said mean things or hit me, I would do nothing. I imagine that there's a door and I'm inside, in a safe haven. Someone's at my side. A hooded figure : Death. I'm not afraid. I know that its there to tell me the consequence if I where to open the door. I know its just trying to keep me safe. I know that the spirit does not wish for me to join all the others in suicide.

But at times when my parents are angry, when others bully me, the door opens. And darkness seeps in.

Fat

Idiot 

Useless

I'm disgusted by the fact that your my child

Freak

Loser

I move quickly to close it, for I know that if I where do stand still for a mere second too much it would be too late to do anything. This has been happening more often. And most of the time I find my self imagining that I was magical, or that I had been transported to a world where there are no worries. Somewhere I'm free.