Road trip with the avengers // Ft. angsty Tony

I

⚠️TW for ptsd and nightmares⚠️

*snap* just like that the world is silent. People remain but words are gone. No one knows what to say and no one knows what to think. One person-no-monster removed half of life. Innocent lives that were meant to be lived were gone. Nothing left behind but dust.

The silence is deafening.

"I don't feel so good" He watched as the kid he loved as a son fell to pieces in front of him. He was helpless.

"You should've saved us"

But he couldn't, oh god he couldn't save them. He couldn't save...

Anyone

Tony stark shot up, chest heaving for air. His hand grasped at his chest. Panicking when it didn't feel the familiar coolness of the metal. Oh right he had it removed. His hands moved from his chest to cradle his head, tugging slightly at his hair as he brought his knees to his chest.

There was no calming hand, no comfort from the woman he once loved.

Pepper had left once he returned, as if losing his son wasn't enough of a punch in the gut.

"This life is just too overwhelming Tony"

"How do you think I feel, I'm the one who has to live it. You live it through me, not as me"

"Not any more"

She had left that night when he was healing from his collapse. He vowed then that once he could stand without collapsing he would get peter back. He would get everyone back no matter how hard it would be. He would sacrifice himself for the lives of billions.

When his heart rate returned to normal he pried himself out of bed, it was about four in the morning and he may as well start the day. He wasn't going to get back to sleep.

Jarvis greeted him as he walked down the hallway, and Friday brightly told him his schedule.

Bringing Jarvis back was one of the things he had done during the gap year. It had brought a smile to his face for the first time in a long time.

"Sir, fury is calling in the Avengers via face time. Shall I answer?"

"Uh" he didn't want to answer. He knew from experience that he didn't look the best, he never did after nightmares. The more rational part of his brain told him that if he didn't answer Fury would find a way to bypass his systems. "Go ahead J"

"Stark, thank you for joining" the screen was split so that each avenger plus fury had their own tile. Tony would've laughed about how stupid it looked if he wasn't still shaken up.

"Is there a reason we're not meeting in person?" Steve asked, usually tony would've made fun of him saying something along the lines of 'what's wrong old man? The tech too difficult for you?' But he couldn't get his mind to focus. Images of the dusting and the wormhole and of pepper leaving were clouding his mental view.

"Unfortunately yes, a group of unnamed hackers has released a computer virus into all air transportation which means the helicarrier had to make a sort of rough landing. They also managed to take some very important information, Stark they could be after your tower next and we all know you have the most information"

"Jarvis, rapid download all starred files onto an external device then purge it all, no traces. When thats done put yourself offline, only communicate through my headset, Friday the same goes for you" he breathed finally able to concentrate now that he had something to focus on.

"Very good, on that note we have a possible location. It's in northern Oregon, that unfortunately means you are going to have to drive there. I wish there was something more we could do but flying is too risky. They could crash the jet or plane anytime, that also means you can't fly with the suit Tony." He paused, "which leaves the fact you won't have protection during the fight, so whatever you decide make sure you get to the control room safely and disable their systems"

"Yes sir, avengers meet in the lower lever in half an hour, pack what you need" Steve commanded before leaving the call.

"Yes cap" they answered before he was gone and left themselves.

"Stark stay for a minute" Fury said.

Once Bruce logged off tony asked, "what did you need Nick"

"Are you ok tony?"

"Well Jarvis is downloading the files now so at least the company secrets won't be in the wrong hands" he turned away from the camera and poured more coffee into his mug. His hands shook slightly, that's not what fury meant.

"Are you ok tony? You don't look good, is it the same as it was that one time?" A while ago, just after they got everyone back they had been aboard the Helicarrier and tony had fallen asleep on Fury's couch. Fury had kindly let him sleep as he worked, he knew exactly how much time and effort tony had put into bringing everyone back. He deserved a break. Unfortunately tony had a nightmare, as he always does and woke up into a panic attack. Fury managed to calm him down and in Tony's delirious state he told him everything.

He didn't have and answer so he just nodded, slightly but it was enough.

"You have my personal cell, if at any point it gets to be too much please call me" he practically begged.

"Ok uncle Nick, I will" Tony responded smiling.

"Ok, thank you and that smile may fool the paparazzi and your team but it doesn't fool me, kid you aren't ok when this is all over I'm helping you price yourself back together"

Tony's eyes started burning, Fury always called him kid when he meant what he was saying.

"Thank you, bye nick"

"Bye tony"

Alright, time to find whatever external device J downloaded the files onto. And then pack for a trip he'd rather not take, but saving lives wasn't optional for a man in his position. No matter how hard it was to focus on anything while he was constantly sleep deprived.

How the hell was he going to be able to fool the captain? It had been easy before because they barely saw each-other, but now? That would be nearly impossible. Time for some Stark charm, and a toothy smile. 'Smile big, boy. It hides your pain and pain is a weakness that people will come to exploit' words from the 'great' Howard stark.

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Thank you for reading, this was kind of a shorter chapter because I'm just starting it and trying to get into the flow of this story line. The future chapters should be longer though. Good day/night lovely's 🖤