Their Harsh Words (Pregame Saiouma)

Welcome To My Life

I cower back as they approach. The faces are a blur in my fear. My back against the wall, I can't run any further. I cover my head with my shaking arms, preparing for the blow.

***

Grabbing my first aid kit, I pull off my shirt. The bruises are a ridiculous amount, but none of them look too bad. My face is worse off.

The small cut from the fingernail looks so significant, when trying to keep this hidden. Pulling out a small plaster, I cover it up. I put some ice over my eye, praying it doesn't turn into a black eye. Knowing my luck, it will.

I pull on a black turtleneck, and walk back to my bedroom, where I flop down onto my bed. Shumai still has no idea. I want to keep it that way. I'm already enough of a burden.

"Kokichi! I'm home!" He calls out. I curse quietly, curling up. Hopefully I have a few more minutes with the ice on my eye.

I continue to stay curled up on my bed, when I hear the popcorn popping. I know what that means, and sigh.

"Are you going to come down? It's time to watch the game!" My roommate calls. I leave the ice pack on my pillow, and reluctantly walk to the lounge. My friend is in the kitchen, humming as he pours out the popcorn into a bowl. He turns to look at me, and before he asks, an excuse is out of my mouth.

"There was an experiment fall in the science lab today." I lie, the fib rolling easily off my tongue. He nods, believing my words.

We both sit down on the couch. My roommate turns on the TV. I watch, clinging onto Shumai at the murder. The debate is intense, as usual. But then, the execution.

The screams blast out. I stare in shocked horror, like every other time. I begin to feel sick as I watch. My fists clench, and I stand up.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I say as a way of explaination. The other boy nods, and I walk off.

Flinging the door open, I lean over the toilet to throw up. Every single time, I feel so sick after. It's awful. Truly awful. I don't see why Shumai still watches it.

I finish emptying my stomach, before I turn to the mirror. Pulling out a blade from the drawers, I draw the blade across my wrist. A small pearl of blood springs up on my wrist.

I repeat it again and again, until there's one for every death I've seen. I wrap my wrists in bandages, pulling down my sleeves again. Flushing the toilet, I sit back on my ankles.

"Kokichi, are you okay?" Shuichi asks. I whip my head around, seeing him at the door. I consider telling him everything, the bullies, how I hate the game, my arms, and everything else. But-

I'm already such a burden for him. I know I am, and I don't want to worsen it for him.

"I think it's a stomach bug or something. I should be fine in a day or two." I give him an attempt at the smile of a sick person, which he buys.

"You should stay home from school until you feel better. I'll let them know what happened. We can order takeaways tonight, okay? Don't worry about cooking." He pats my shoulder, then walks out, which makes me feel even worse.

No one wants to hire a skinny, useless teen who barely looks twelve. I am only still going to school through a full scholarship. I have to get top grades, or I'm kicked out of school. The stress is alot, but I know Shumai must go through a lot more, even though he doesn't act like it. And if he can pretend, then I can too. I can pretend, lie through my teeth, spin fibs with my words, until I'm dead.