A Desirable Alternative To Cultural Insanity

Doc says if I ever go down again

I may never get back up

Bones so brittle and blood so thin

Heart sometimes don't try hard enough

I'd been a soldier and later a K-9 cop

Never made the mistake of being too heroic

Worked hard until my body finally said stop

Now I take pride in being called a jolly old stoic

Expected to merely limp on out of life

Retired to a little place 30 miles from Seattle

Somewhere I thought free of urban strife

Turned out to be self-delusional prattle

Little town's name is Snohomish

Anglicization of a Native  American word

Translates into whatever you wish

Consensus on its meaning never occurred

Been here now for a little over 10 years

Outlived two consecutive bemused doctors

My new physician shares her predecessors' fears

That she'll be my death certificate author

But I tell'em all I'm too mean to die

Most smile because that's not my reputation

Seeing me and my wheeled walker passing by

Always generates a grin and salutation

My walker's tricked out like a patrol car

Neighborhood kids trail me like a posse

I let'm play with the fake siren and light bar

Moms get to have another undisturbed coffee

Rollo, my last K-9 retired along with me

He passed on about 6 years ago

Nothing about being alone makes a man feel free

Sometimes I dream of Rollo

Lot of trouble recently in big cities

Riots, looting, burning during "peaceful" protests

Seattle isn't  immune to these atrocities

Mayor declares right to protest is constitutionally blessed

Seattle police chief has a home near me

I remember her from when she was a cadet

Even as a rook she was a paragon of probity

Her making chief was always a good bet

Seattle city fathers took a gubernatorial knee

To the protesters chose to surrender

Promised to defund and defang cops like we used to be

Lessen impediments  to those intent on plunder

Police chief politely but strongly demurred

That didn't endear her to the firebreathing mob

Who wanted their right to arson left undeterred

Thought vandalizing her home might do the job

200 of the "activists" showed up out here

Two doors down surrounding the Chief's home

Maybe liquored up on ecstacy and beer

Demanding that the Chief come out to atone

Chief happened to be in Seattle just then

So their immediate hate impulse was unrequited

I "walkered" down and unwisely butted in

Told'm out here they aren't invited

Mob's existing power-lust abruptly trebled

Didn't like being dissed by an aging cripple

Both me and my walker they disassembled

Left us a bleeding, human/mechanical ensemble

Glad I'm on permanent non-breathing vacation

A civil rights prosecution warrant awaited

I was to be charged with police impersonation

Because of the way my walker was decorated

Mortician may have to chisel off the grin

From my soulless body in the mortuary fridge

Because I'm back with Rollo and other K-9 friends

There really is a Rainbow Bridge