I saw a poem in you, had I not waned,
I may have been a sonnet to you
But I became far sighted, lost in fanatical dreams.
Fanatical because, they never aligned with our threads of real probability.
On some of those days, you would turn lax
Gone would be that lackadaisical expression.
Like an eclipse you shone me blind,
Your truth slipping as quick as the sleight of the hands, trusting me, with unexpected warmth.
Looking back, I believe you were in the need
Of an ear,
A stethoscope, hearing the tales, and the various plays of your heart.
You were a boy whom I befriended, now we are friends at a memorial, ocassionally saying hi.
I remember the distance,
I felt that ghosted smile.
I knew I somehow I drove you out, with my madness spawning from a season changed,
My heart poking out in a love's plight.
I fell into despair, because you knew I hid from you all along.
In those creative conversations I remember: you spoke of fathering your own visions of want.
Want all things that were impossible at your age,
So you spelled out a spreadsheet of plans.
You spoke of all this,
And I had become besotted.
You were open like a flower once,
And then you became unsure and perhaps long gone.
Like I was never once a diary you journalled,
Even as brief as it may seem, in your entire lifetime.
I saw a poem in you,
I saw the many greats grating within.
You were a closeted poet,
Skilled in curling your tongue and playing tag with the mind.
I miss your taunts, I miss your opening lines.
You taught me the wonder of words,
The play of double entendres, you wrote to me
And told me to know.
Now I sit back and feel,
And I realize we were nothing if not but a fleck of stardust,
Residing up on a mystical hill.
It's now misted by the fog in my mind,
And I don't feel those same feelings no more
But I still smile:
Your a memory I have now journalled, lost in some shelf.
I can barely remember those pivotal moments,
Ones that were mostly known to me.
And you were long gone,
Like a mystery,
Golden and perched upon a different hill.
