Missing Anxiety

Virgil's POV

I woke up and stared at the ceiling memorizing all the cobwebs. I then turned my neck to the alarm clock by my bed, it's 8:30 a.m. I roll out of my warm safe bed and walked over to my dresser to grab my phone and head phones. I turn on MCR, like I do every morning and then I walk over to my wardrobe and put on my favorite black hoodie and some jeans.
I rub the tiredness out of my eyes and look in the mirror so I can apply my dark eyeshadow. When I'm done with that I pull my hood up and start walking towards my door. I'm about to twist the the door knob when I hear three loud hard knocks.
I jump back and almost fall over. I'm breathing hard at this point, but I swallow my fear and open the door which reveals an angry Logan. That wouldn't have really concerned me, but Logan usually doesn't show emotions. " D-do you need something?" I stutter and look at his shoes. He looks at me and scoffs,"Thomas has summoned you!" he's annoyed, that's just great. "O-okay,"I say shyly and close the door. I turn around lean up against it for a moment and I take a deep breath before sinking into Thomas's living room.
I appear in his living room and Logan and Roman are looking at me with disgust in their eyes. I look over at Patton to try to get a hint, but he is sitting on Thomas's couch crying in Thomas's arms with his head on his shoulder. All I hear is Thomas telling Patton ,"It's okay."
I look back over at Roman and Logan , but they are still staring at me with fire in their eyes."W-what happened?" I ask stuttering and I move my hair in front of my eyes." You should know you did it!" Roman clenched his fist ready to strike me."What?" I look back at Logan for a clue. He speaks through his teeth and says," Thomas has been more anxious lately, he's been having self-harming and suicidal thoughts and we know it's you!"
I look at them really confused because I haven't had those thoughts in years. I look back over at Patton,"Is that why Patton is sad?" "Obviously, he blames himself for your thoughts and he thinks he wasn't happy enough because Thomas has had said thoughts!" Logan says with a little anger dying and more sadness in his voice as he looks over at Patton.
Patton lifts his head off of Thomas's shoulder, stands up , and rubs his eyes."You okay?" Thomas asks. "Yeah, I just wish I would have known sooner." Patton looks at me with a mix of concern and disappointment. That look hurt me the most out of everyone's.
They are all staring at me now and I can feel my heart starting to beat faster."W-what it couldn't h-hav.....
I h-haven't th-thought that in..."
Right now I'm grasping for anything that they may believe, but I can see from the looks on their faces that they wouldn't believe me no matter what. I put my head down and let my hair fall into my eyes ," Sorry, I'll try not to think like that anymore!" I quickly mutter and sink back into my room.
I'm back in my room and my panic attack has gotten worse. I wish I had Patton , he is always there when I feel anxious (so all the time). I can feel this is a bad one and I know I will probably pass out, so I fall/get in bed and pull my knees to my chest. I try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths.
Five minutes later my breathing starts to slow and I feel exhausted. Panic attacks always drain my energy, so I decided to go get some food from the kitchen. I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and slowly get up. I start to walk towards the door and I'm about to touch the door knob when I hear something.
The noise sounded like a slight rub on the carpet. The noise sounded like someone was trying not to be heard. My heart starts to beat fast again and I quickly turned, but before I see anything I was already on the ground with a splitting headache and blurry vision. I touched my temple and saw blood. I started seeing stars and I knew I was about to pass out. I kept telling myself to fight it off, but sleep kept calling me and I was already so exhausted.
I started to try and crawl back to the door I was about an inch away when I suddenly felt a crushing weight on my back and a rope tied tightly around my hands. I was about to scream when someone's hand came over my mouth that muffled my cry for help. I looked at the weapon on the floor and saw it was mace.
Remus pulled me to my feet so I was standing in front of him. Even though I was weak I fought as hard as I could to get away. Remus saw the panic in my eyes and laughed," Aww, poor Virgil, you're barely even putting up a fight, or is that all the fight you have left in you?" Remus sneered then grabbed a hand full of my hair so I was looking at the ceiling . I started to sob but no sound registered because of his hand.
After a few minutes I started to struggle less, I was so tired and I just want this to be over. My breathing has started to slow and my eyes feel so heavy . Sleep is calling out to me again. I finally give up and fall limp in Remus's arms. The last thing I heard was a menacing laugh, and then everything went black.