Midnight Wolves

Chapter Nineteen: Ghost

They sat at the table, each with a bowl of steaming rabbit stew before them. She ate greedily, her stomach hollow with hunger. He watched her, picking at his food. She stared at him, drinking in the curiosity flickering in his eyes, the tenseness to his frame. There was something he wasn't saying. Something he was holding back.

She paused, balancing her spoon on its end in the stew. "What's your name?" she asked, suddenly realising that she'd never asked it. She'd called him midnight all this time.

He chuckled, abandoning the pretence of pretending to eat, shoving the bowl away from him unfinished. "I was wondering when you were going to ask."

Callie shrugged, shoving another spoonful into her mouth. "You could have offered it."

He smiled. "My name is Vikas, but call me Vik."

She was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "Hm, not was I was expecting. Got a surname, Vik?"

"Vikas Gordstrum."

"Huh, not shadow valley then?"

"The pack was named after the land." He lowered his head, eyes gazing into hers. "What were you expecting my name to be?"

She shivered under his gaze and cocked her head, lost in thought. "I'm not sure."

"What were you calling me in your head?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"It looked like you had something in mind," he said with a shrug.

She blushed and looked down, swirling her spoon through the stew. "Midnight. I was calling you midnight."

He chuckled and her blush deepened. "Is that a compliment?"

He looked back up to him, locking her eyes with his. The room emptied of all sounds, even the crackling of the fire, which had provided a warming backdrop to their meal, was silenced by the rapid thud, thud, thud of her heart. "I've never seen fur as dark as yours. You're like liquid shadow," she whispered, her voice husky.

He paused, his eyes flashing with something she couldn't name. "You've no idea," he mumbled.

What was this, between them? This cloying, aching longing that filled her body until every breath was a battle.

He stood to clear their bowls and she sighed in relief at the distance. It couldn't just be her feeling like this. He followed her every movement too closely for it to be just her who could feel it. Surely?

"Your mate," she started, dousing the room in cold water. He visibly flinched. "What was she like?" Callie wasn't sure why she'd asked the question. She was even less sure why his answer was so important to her.

Why was she torturing him with this? Why was she torturing herself with it?

But she was curious. What kind of wolf had the world chosen as his other half? And, much like it had been with hers, could it have been wrong? Could the woman chosen for him been an ill suited match?

Was she a better choice?

He looked miserable as he retook his seat, and Callie felt agonising guilt for causing it. She wasn't even sure he was going to answer as his eyes drifted past her to the cracked wall behind her head.

"She was...light," he answered, his voice hoarse and barley above a whisper. "I'd never met anyone so full of light and energy before. She always reminded me of a field of daisies. Bright, pure and beautiful." His words poured out of him like water but stalled as though he realised who he was talking to, and what had happened next.

"She sounds lovely," Callie whispered, hoping to encourage him to keep going. While it wasn't fun for her to hear how wonderfully perfect his moonmate had been, she wanted him to be able to talk of her. She wondered when he'd last done so.

"She-She was," he continued, his voice strangled in agony, in regret. "The moment I saw her, I knew. It was like being hit in the chest. Everything in my life had led me to her. I was young though, so was she. We were barely past sixteen, too young to be mated. So, we dated. For years, knowing that eventually we'd mate but we had time – so much time, that it didn't matter."

He drew in a fractured breath and Callie's heart broke for him.

"But we didn't. Not in the end."

"When?" she pried, gently.

He looked down at his hands, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. She longed to reached out towards him, to take his hands in her own, to tell him it was alright. But she daren't move.

"It was the day before her 21st birthday. I'd been planning a surprise party for her. We'd been arguing a lot. She-I kept getting so infuriated. My wolf was a handful when I was younger. He wanted to roam and didn't understand why we had to stay with the pack. Lilly, that was her name, she didn't want to leave and I couldn't bring myself to leave without her. I'd planned to mate claim her, for her birthday. We'd always said we'd wait until we were both 21."

He broke off, falling into silence as his words settled in the room around them.

"I didn't mean to. I-I didn't mean to. I was out patrolling and she'd come to visit me for some reason, I didn't know it was her. Planning the party was stressful but that day my wolf was on edge, out of control. I'd attacked my best friend earlier that same day. I had no idea who it was until... I didn't mean to," he repeated, his shoulders curving inwards. "I didn't mean to," he said again, his body shaking.

Callie darted forwards, falling to her knees before him and pulling him tightly against her chest, his tears wet on her neck.

"I didn't mean to," he repeated again, so she held onto him tighter, running a hand in soothing circles on his back.

"I know, I believe you. You'd never have hurt her intentionally," she whispered, utterly convinced by her own words.

He took in a shaky breath and leaned back, wiping his face as he stared down into her eyes.

"That's not what they said," he said, chuckling humourlessly. "They said I was out of control. A danger. They were right. They hated me. I hated me. I've been in and out of control of my wolf for years ever since...until you." His voice twisted in anger at the end, but she knew it wasn't directed at her, but himself.

"I don't understand," he whispered, reaching out a hand to cup her face. She smiled sadly and leant into it, her eyes fluttering closed for only a second. "Who are you?"

"I'm Callie Magnum," she replied jokingly with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"To me. Who are you to me, Callie Magnum? And why is my wolf telling me to never let you go?"