Lonely sometimes

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a/n: this was in my drafts for a while ago until i decided to finish it, so the end is kind of rushed.

a/n: this was in my drafts for a while ago until i decided to finish it, so the end is kind of rushed

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Y/N flinched when she heard the doorbell ring, looking down at her clothes. She was in her pajamas –the same she's been wearing for the last two days–, and a messy bun.

Her whole apartment was a big mess too; magazines scattered around the table, ice cream tubs here and there, and she hadn't even wash the dishes.

Whoever at the door was going to think she was going crazy.

Y/N swallowed and left the half empty bowl of popcorn aside, wiping away the tears she had in her cheeks from the romantic, and really cheesy movie she was watching.

“Who is it?!” She yelled as she walked towards the door. “It’s me, Cordelia.”

Shit, Y/N thought. She wasn't expecting Cordelia today, or for a couple of days since she left for a work trip two days ago.

“Uh, Cordelia? What are you doing here?”  Y/N asked, trying to fix the loose strands that fell from her bun.

“Aren’t you going to open the door?” The older woman chuckled from outside, making her laugh nervously. Y/N opened the door as slow as she could, letting the other woman in.

“I... I wasn't expecting you so early,” the younger one bit her lip, and Cordelia raised her eyebrow.

“So you're not happy to see me?” Cordelia said in her usual calm voice, yet a smile appeared on her lips making Y/N know she was just messing around, even though she didn't get the reaction she hoped.

Y/N shook her head and guided Cordelia towards her tiny living room, embarrassed by the mess she had. “Of course I'm happy to see you, I just... I wasn't prepared, my house wasn't prepared.” She chuckled softly.

Cordelia inspected around the place and smiled back at her, that's when she noticed the rest of tears on Y/N’s face, instantly alarming.

“Honey, is everything okay?” She asked worriedly, making the other woman confused. “Yeah, why wouldn't–oh! sorry, I was just... I was watching a movie and,” Y/N chuckled embarrassed again, “I’m okay, just too emotional.”

Both women sat down on the couch and Cordelia examined the space again, “Have you been eating something else than ice cream and popcorn?”

Y/N wanted to roll her eyes, but Cordelia’s voice was always too gentle towards her. “Don’t worry, I'm taking the vitamins and having all my meals, the ice cream is only in between... I’m keeping your baby healthy, I swear.” She chuckled lightly, looking down at her already huge bump.

Cordelia shook her head and shoot her a smile. “I know, I'm asking about you. You have been nothing but great to this baby but, how are you?”

That question took Y/N out of guard. Though Cordelia was the only one that cared about her –probably because she was carrying her baby–, no one has asked her that in a while.

And with the amount of emotions she had inside of her, she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. Y/N laughed softly and let Cordelia wipe her tears away this time. “I am, I promise you I am... I just– it gets lonely sometimes, and...”

“And...?” Cordelia asked softly when Y/N fell silent.

At this point they were sitting closer, Cordelia’s hand was resting on her belly which made the baby acknowledge her mother's presence. Y/N smiled sadly when she felt the baby moving inside of her.

“In two months this baby will be born and... I know we won't cross paths again unless it's really necessary–”

“Hey, let me stop you there Y/N...” Cordelia gently lifted the woman’s chin and looked at her, “why would you think that? Is that the idea you've had all this time?” She asked frowning, and Y/N slowly nodded.

“I-I mean, I just assumed that once you have the baby we’d just take different ways, you’ll be the amazing mom this baby needs and I’ll be in college again...”

“Is that what you want?... You want to make like we never knew each other?” The blonde witch asked, her voice trembling a little.

“No. Not at all... I mean, you've been in my life for a whole year already but you did more than take care of the baby... you took care of me, you made me feel less lonely and I don't want to lose you.” Y/N shrugged, looking down at Cordelia’s hands.

She thought about the night they met a bar, it was the day she had to drop off college because she couldn't afford her tuition anymore. The witch was only there because Zoe and Queenie dragged her out, but they ended up together and ranting about their lifes with each other. The next day, they were completely lost when they woke up naked in Y/N’s bed.

Eventually, one thing led to another and they were in this situation; Y/N being the surrogate for Cordelia, and Cordelia paying for Y/N’s tuition. Everything worked out, and they didn't talk about what happened, even though that one night was enough to make feelings grow.

“Sweetheart, you're not going to lose me... when we agreed on this, I never said I was going to walk away with this baby like you never existed. That is simply cruel, and I thought... we were friends before we started this? I mean, that's how this started.” Cordelia chuckled shyly, stroking Y/N’s jawline.

“Mhm, we are...”

About an hour later Y/N was laying against Cordelia’s warm body, her face hiding in her neck. The blonde had one hand resting on her belly as the other ran through (h/c) locks and pressed sweet kisses to her forehead.

That kind of closeness, Y/N only experienced it with Cordelia. She understood that every little and not so little thing Cordelia has done was not only because she was carrying her child, it was because she truly cared about her.

“You’re going to be a great mom,” Y/N said softly, almost sleepy. Cordelia smiled and kissed the top of her nose.

“And it's all thanks to you...”

Y/N didn't know if it was because of the slow patterns the blonde was tracing in her back, or for the sweet little things she was whispering in her ear to make her relax, but she found herself speaking without thinking before –or at least without thinking with her head–.

“I love you.” She said.

“I love you too, darling.” Cordelia replied softly, holding her as close as she could.

“No, I mean–”

“I know what you mean... I hope.” The witch said before she pulled Y/N for a slow, lovingly kiss.

Words count: 1122

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