in the hands of fate (a love by chance, tincan, story)

chapter 5: you know you set me free

Tin felt lighter. The dead weight in the pit of his stomach had become something else, something fluctuating. He had Can back in his life. So much for reset. A few moments in Can's company and he had broken all the promises he had made himself once again.

They had now been friends for three weeks. One week of forced conversation and awkwardness, one of thawing ice and easing tension and the third week saw the return of the old Can. The one that talked a lot.

"What if he hates me? What if he judges Ma for having a son like me and dumps her? She really likes him." Can face planted onto the table pulled on his hair. "Arghhhh, what if I hate him?"

"Can, I imagine if Som has been seeing this guy for a few months like you say then he will already know about Ren." Tin watched, amused, as Can sat up and looked at him in amazement, obviously that had not occurred to him. "Has your mother ever introduced a boyfriend to you and Ley before?"

Can shook his head. "As far as I know she hasn't even looked at another guy since Pa died."

"Sounds like it's serious then. Give him a chance. Your mother deserves someone." Tin had only met Som a couple of times, but one thing was clear, the woman loved her children. She was a 'proper' mother. Unlike his own.

"I know. That's why I don't want to ruin it for her."

"You've grown up a lot since Ren—"

"Oii, Tin, how can you say that? I'm not 'grown up', I'm tired!"

"Just be yourself and you will be fine." Tin said, rolling his eyes. Can seemed to switch from hyper alert to bone weary in an instant these days and Tin worried for him, but he did not agree that Can hadn't matured since becoming a parent. His natural exuberance may have dimmed due to fatigue but the way Can put the baby first in every decision he made was testament to that.

Can glared at him then nodded and yawned, deflating. Tin could see the exhaustion in his eyes. "Why don't we go back to mine and you can have a sleep in my bed while I entertain Ren?" The baby was sleeping in Tin's arms, cuddled to his chest like it was the most comfortable place in the world, the external noise of the busy Siam Square coffee shop having no effect on her ability to doze off.

It was proof of Can's tiredness that he meekly agreed and stood to leave. Tin kept hold of Ren until they reached his car and he strapped her into the back when she immediately woke up, cried grumpily for a few moments until Tin handed her the plush toy he'd just bought for her while Can was browsing for shoes. The plush immediately made its way into her mouth and she was instantly content.

Tin made good time in the traffic and before long they were in his room and he was encouraging Can to lie down and sleep which he did without protest. Tin took Ren and all the baby paraphernalia that came with her into a shaded area of the garden. At his request one of the staff brought out a picnic blanket and a warmed-up bottle for Ren and Tin fed it to her with her propped up on his knee. She stared up at him the whole time, her eyes just like Can's.

Would she grow up to look like Can or the unknown mysterious mother that Can never talked about, thoughts of whom made Tin's thoughts darken with jealous thoughts. What had she had that he did not?

Tin knew nothing about child development. Som, Can's mother, had said that Ren was an easy baby but added the proviso 'at the moment' and started talking about teething and growth spurts. He had no idea if Ren could register faces yet, but he liked to think she recognised him and that the smiles he got from her were real and not just wind.

He was smitten.

When Ren had finished her bottle Tin winded her as Can had shown him and placed her beside him on the blanket, tickling her with the plush toy.