𝗠𝗬 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗥 - 𝗞.𝗦.

My Head Really Hurts

"(y/n)-sempai!"

I was about to buy a drink from the vending machine when I heard the familiar voice of a certain orange haired boy call my name. It was the next day after Coach's announcement for the two training camps. I turned to find Hinata and Kageyama, panting from running towards me.

"Oh please, just (y/n) or (y/n)-san." I chuckled softly, "The sempai is not needed for me."

"Are you sure?" Kagayama stepped in front of Hinata. I nodded. I never really liked someone calling me "sempai". It made me feel like I had something they didn't, or something like that. Asahi was the same way. It makes us just feel weird.

"Anyways," I continued on, "was there something that the both of you needed to ask?"

Almost as quick as I spoke, the both of them bowed rather deep and practically shouted, "OH PLEASE HELP US STUDY!" I was a little surprised by their responses, and tried to hold in a few giggles.

    "We tried asking Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, but they quickly said no." Kagayama explained, "We just thought you were a lot more caring and ask you for help." He bowed again, Hinata quickly mimicking him.

    I blushed at the comments he made. "I would love to help... but I'm in the more advanced classes. Not to mention I'm older than the both of you. It would be as hard for me as it is for you." A worried and sad look passed their faces, suddenly making me feel bad. "However," I added, "you could ask Yachi, the new manager. She's very smart, and I'm sure she would be glad to help such sweet 1st years. And the team can't risk losing two valuable players."

    Kagayama and Hinata blushed at my last two statement. "Thank you, (y/n)-san," Kagayama said. Hinata nodded rather aggressively, "We won't let you down!" With that, the duo quickly bowed and ran off to find Yachi, as I turned around to get my drink.

    Apparently, my conversation with the two first years was ease-dropped on my another chaotic volleyball duo. I didn't even get time to open my (f/d) before Tanaka and Nishinoya ran to my side and practically bombarded me with ridiculous questions.

    "Did they ask you out?"

    "What was your answer?"

    "Can you help me study?"

    "Are you in love with them?"

    "Am I a valuable player?"

    "Are you in love with me?"

    I was baffled by that last question. I was baffled by all of them, but mainly the last one. What made it worse was that the two biggest simp bots wouldn't shut up, and since I didn't know them all that well, I didn't know what to do or say. I felt so crowded. My head hurt. I was started to have a social anxiety attack, and I felt like balling.

    "HEY IDIOTS!"

    Just the sound of the shout made Tanaka and Noya shut up. I couldn't see who it was, the both of them in my way. But the voice continued.

    "SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU! LET HER BE OR YOU'LL BE RUNNING EXTRA LAPS AROUND THE GYM!!"

    Now the voice sounded vaguely familiar. But just like that, the two 2nd years ran off, revealing Kiyoko just a few paces away from me. She ran toward me, her hair flowing behind her. It almost looked like a scene from a movie.

    "Asahi-san, are you okay?" She ask, once reaching me, "For a second, you looked like you were gonna faint."

    Panic entered my mind. Nervous panic or gay panic? Probably both. "Oh I'm okay, uhh thank for asking," I removed my stare from the ground to meet her eyes, "Umm, but why were they bombarding me with all of those questions?"

    "Must've just been a misunderstanding," Kiyoko replied, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. "Every now and then, they do that to me when I'm talking to someone. But that's because they both have a crush on me, that's well known." She chuckled softly.

    "Could that mean that they...?"

    "Probably, actually."

    We both laughed a little. The thought of my gay ass with either of them... basic humor.

    "Umm.." I turned to face her, "Could I get you a drink from here, as a thank you? My treat."

    Her eyes sparkled, "I'd like that very much."

    I returned her smile as she pointed to her suggested beverage. I got it for her as she thanked me.

    I looked at the time, "Oh shit uhh... I have to go study for my exams with Asahi. I'll see you at practice."

    She waved, "Bye Asahi-san!"

    "Oh, call me (y/n)-san, or just (y/n) even." I waved and ran off, my drink still in hand. But instead of running to a classroom to study, I ran to the bathroom.

*  *  *  *

I know it's not good to lie to people, especially people you like, but I have my reasons.

Once I was in the bathroom, I hid in a stall until no one was there. I dropped my bag and set my drink down, looking at the time.

I haven't told anyone at Karasuno about it. My friends in America didn't even know, except maybe my old volleyball coach. The only people who know are family and my doctor, and I know Asahi wouldn't say anything about it. He knows his limits when it comes to things like this.

That's why when Kiyoko stated that I looked like fainting, I tried to hard to keep cool. I didn't want to give off any hints about it. The last thing I needed was for everyone to know I'm gonna be on a drug my whole life. I don't like people worrying about me, especially her. Asahi does it enough as is.

I took out my medicine and took a tab, using my drink to help me swallow it. Afterwards, I quickly rinsed my face with water and walked to class.

That day at practice was basically blur. I stared down at my keyboard most of the practice, writing down notes about the match. But I did notice something about Tsukishima when he was playing. He wasn't giving it his all, and it made me a little mad. I didn't fully know why. I told Coach Ukai and he just told me to wait, that Tsukishima will have his time to show his true colors one way or another. That he will have that special moment. Or something like that, I was only half-listening.

As I walked home with Asahi, my head started to hurt. I stopped suddenly, making Asahi turn my direction. The world seemed to be going in circles, round and round and it wasn't stopping. Tears started to flow down my cheeks, and I had no control to make them stop. I dropped to my knees and tried to concentrate on the sound of my breathing.

Asahi dropped his bag, bolted to my side, kneeling down to put his arm around me. Terrible memories from years before flashed before my tearing eyes. I buried my head into his shirt and held him tight, his breath shaky, praying that it would stop. Praying that it wouldn't happen right now. Praying that I wouldn't end up back in the hospital...

We stayed on our knees, feeling the cold concrete that was beneath us. After a few minutes, the pain stopped. Asahi loosened his grip around me and helped me up.

"I... I thought..." I couldn't form the words I needed to speak. It was almost like I didn't know how.

"None of that." my brother said, putting his finger over my mouth. "Let's just get you home and rest."