Loose of Chains

-Chapter 3-

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
- Maya Angelou

Silence and the faint sound of some music, that's all I hear in Aaron Hotchner's black SUV ride. All my bags are stuffed in his trunk, not that I have a lot of bags, or a lot of anything for that matter. A few outfits I would wash weekly and lost hope that things can get better, that's all I have.

I study Aaron Hotchner, his back straight like a solider, his eyes fixated on the road. I've read that FBI agents are supposed to have a poker face when dealing with different aspects of a case. But this, this hits him in a different spot. As much as he wants this to be a throwaway case where the BAU catches my mother, everyone's safe and Aaron can move on with his life like normal, I can feel that he knows this is simply to hard to brush off.

As much as he tries to hide it I can tell he isn't at ease. He's driving like I have a gun to his head and I'm telling him to act natural. He's acting like at some point I'm just gonna switch up on him like my father. I thought if anyone, Agent Hotchner would be different. He wouldn't judge me by my father, he wouldn't be like everyone else. I don't think I'll ever find someone who knows what my father did and doesn't judge me for it. I feel guilty and I'm truly sorry for the victims of my fathers crimes and there family's, but do they have to blame me for it? I guess it helps them grieve, having someone to blame. My father isn't alive to hear their screams as they call him the devil, so I'm the next best thing.

The car slows down as we turn into a suburb. I get anxious as the thought of being in the Hotchner house fills my brain. I knew if I was staying with Aaron at some point I was going to have to walk into his house, but I just didn't know it was gonna be so soon.

The car starts to pull into the driveway of light yellow house, identical to all the others on the street. It's modest and cozy, it's looks like a family home.

I go to unbuckle my seatbelt when I see Aaron flinch and look towards me. What could he possibly think I was going to do? I don't have a gun but I do notice his hand is on his. Nothing can stop what my father did, my father will always be responsible for hurting so many family's lives, and I know it's hard for Aaron to give my a chance when all I am is a reminder that Haley is gone. But why can't he understand all I want is a chance to prove myself?

The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I just keep staring at him, and if my eyes are tricking me I think I see his eyes start to water up a bit. But still after he sees me infront of him, completely defenseless, he won't take his hand off his gun, still not trusting me.

This is interrupted by a voice in the distance.

"Hey dad! You're back!" says a male voice coming from the house.

I turn around to see a 16 year-old Jack Hotchner running up to meet his father. He's tall, taller then me with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm not gonna lie, his pretty cute, but it's not like anything could happen with him. He will judge me based on my dad, just like everyone else.

"Hi! Nice to meet you I'm Jack," he says smiling at me puting his hand out. If only he knew, he wouldn't be so smiley and happy to meet me.

I don't put my hand out to shake his hand at first, I'm uncomfortable with the whole situation. If I shake his hand and act all smiley, I feel like I'm lying to him in a weird way, like as if he doesn't know he's shaking hands with his equivalent of the devil.

Before things get awkward with the whole Jack having his hand out and me not shaking it Aaron pulls Jacks hand back away from me.

"We'll talk inside," Aaron says to Jack as Jack looks dumb founded at me.

I sit in on the couch of the Hotchner resident as I hear Jack and Aaron scream fighting from another room. Jack has every right to be mad at me, his dad, we all know what happened the last time a Foyet was in this house.

"Are you insane? Bringing her here? For all we know should could be working with her mom! This could be a plot to kill me!" I hear a voice scream from the other room, I can tell by the context that it's Jacks.

"What would you rather me do? Keep her locked up and come home one day to find you dead on the floor with her mother standing over you?" I hear Aaron scream back at his son.

I look over to the wall with a painting behind it, I've read the reports, the testimony's, this is where Haley died. I start to imagine a young Jack running up to his mom while she tries to stay strong and tells him to go hide. I imagine Haley with tears down her face as my father stands nexts to her, smiling, just like the sick psycho he was. I don't even realize it but a tear starts to run down my cheek. I picture Aaron in the car trying to race to his house, praying for his son and ex wife. Haley was someone's child, someone's mother, someone's sister, someones former lover, and my father took her life away. As much as I want this horrifying movie in my head to stop it keeps going. I see my fathers hand slowly pull the trigger, closer and closer, almost pulling it completely, a life about to end.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HE KILLED MY MOTHER!" I hear Jack shout for the other room.

Jack runs in to the living room, Aaron following close behind. I stand up wiping the tears of my face.

"Jack please," I start, "You have no reason to believe me but truly I want to help you, your father. I want to try to give back to the people my father hurt." I say, trying not to cry.

"Really? I should just believe you? Why? Because you just care a lot?" Jack says coldly.

"Jack please," Aaron starts to say but Jack cuts him off.

"No! No, don't "Jack please" me. I have every right to be angry." Jack says, he's right, he does, "Your father took everything from me! And now I'm supposed to welcome you into my home with a smile on my face? What? What do you have to say to that?"

I don't answer I just stare at him with my mouth opened, trying to find the right words to say.

"And you," he says turning his attention to Aaron, "I know you think this is truly the best thing to do, but your acting naive! Your miss mom, I do to and I know you think this is somehow gonna put your mind at ease but it's not!"

Jack starts to breakdown, Aaron goes to pull Jack into a hug but Jack pushes him away.

"You took what mattered most to me away." he says looking at me tears rolling down his cheeks, breath shaky, "But hey, enjoy your stay because I'm obviously the only one who was any common sense around here and my opinion doesn't mean anything because I'm already out-ruled."

Jack finishes and stomps away shaking his head muttering to himself, he wipes away the tears with his sleeve and runs up the stairs.

"I'm sorry," Aaron says looking at me sheepishly.

"Don't be," I say looking back at him, "and don't blame Jack, if the tables were turned I would be the same way."