Peaky Blinders One Shot Collection

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Crying

Oooooo she's on a roll with the uploads

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You sat across from him in the chair, dress covered in whiskey, feet bare and scratched, glass scattered across the floor. Your hair was falling out of its bun atop your head and your mascara smeared down your cheeks. Tommy sat on the other side of the table, hands gripping each arm of the chair as he stared at the table, his hair askew and his top button and tie undone. All that could be heard in the room was the heavy breathing falling from both of your lips.

'I can't do this anymore Tommy' you hiccup after a moment and he finally looks up, watching as you stare at the corner of the room, your eyes numb and almost lifeless. He shakes his head.

'I can't accept that answer Y/N' he replies and you snigger in disbelief, shaking your own head.

'You're unbelievable. Don't tell me what is and isn't acceptable' your words come out more gentle than you had intended and you curse yourself mentally for it. Tommy remains silent.

'This isn't fair on either of us Tommy, and you know it isn't' you try again, voice growing stronger throughout the sentence.

'You're right, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just let you walk away from all of this' he says quietly and you feel your tears coming again.

'You promised that it would be the last time. This is a pattern. A vicious cycle. You promise no more fighting and bad business, you do the opposite of what you say, we fight and argue and then all is forgiven, then you promise it's the last time. Over and over and over. I can't keep living on false hope Tommy. I want to be free. I want us to be free' as you speak, you stand and manoeuvre around the table to kneel in front of the deflated man, careful to watch where the shards of glass had fallen.

He leans forward, taking your face between his palms carefully before moving them to your sides and lifting you up to sit in his lap, his arms curling to wrap around you and hold you against him. You rest your hands on his chest, nuzzling into his shoulder as your tears slowly fall. Silence falls again. Tommy breaks it first this time.

'Y'know, I remember every time that I've made you cry. Good and bad' he mumbles into your hair and you feel your breathing halt. You grip him tighter.

'Tommy...' you begin but he cuts you off.

'The first time was the second time I saw you. You just started working for us, Poll had hired you and it was your first week in the office. I'd watched you all day, waiting for you to do something wrong so I could fire you. You were distracting and I knew if I kept you around, I wouldn't get anything done. So I watched you, all day. And you didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect' he pauses, humming as though reliving the memory and you remain quiet, watching his face as he speaks, his own eyes stuck on the wall ahead.

'You came in to my office at the end of the day, and told me you were done for the day, asking if I needed anything. I asked if you were a whore that day. I'll never forget the way your face fell, your cheeks turned pink and your eyes grew wide. I felt horrible after, but I had to do something to upset you, keep you away. So you ran off after that, I could hear you crying when you slammed the door shut behind you' he pauses again 'you still came back to work the next day, acting like nothing had happened'.
You smile fondly.

'That was also the first time you apologised to me' you say with a chuckle. He smiles too and pauses before continuing.

'The second time was when I went to London for the first time. I came back in a bad mood and you were at the office working late. At first I didn't want to talk, but you poured me a whiskey and we drank for hours. That time, I made you cry laughing. We laughed and talked till the early hours. Just us. I think that's my favourite memory of us' you see his eyes shine and know he is holding back tears.

'That's my favourite too' you agree, drawing a pattern into his chest as his grip tightened.

'After that, I didn't want to be anywhere other than beside you. I made sure you were everywhere I went. I used that excuse of keeping you safe, but in honesty, it was all just because I felt safer with you around. I didn't make you cry for a long time after that. You're tougher than I would have ever given you credit for and you must have learnt from the first time we spoke that I can be mean. So you made sure you always had tougher skin after that. The next time I made you cry, I didn't even realise I had until afterwards. The first time we had sex.' He talks as if living in the memory and you stay quiet, biting your lip. You'd forgotten about that one.

'It was all rushed at first. Trying to be quick and quiet because everyone was downstairs and I had a meeting in ten minutes. But I realised I didn't want our first time to be like that so I told you to wait until after the meeting. And you did. You met me, later that day and we picked up where we left off. I can still remember how amazed I was, how lucky I felt that you were allowing me to be that close and intimate with you. And I teased you so much, I was so mesmerised by what I was doing and the way you looked arching towards me that I didn't notice the tears rolling down your cheek from the pressure and build up only to have your orgasm taken away from you' he hummed again at that.

'That was a good night, do those tears even count?' you whisper into his shirt, Tommy nodding in response.

'Yes' was all he said before he continued.

'And then after that, every time I've made you cry has been because of business. Because of me getting into trouble. Because of something going wrong and not knowing what would happen next.'

'Tom-..' you try again but he cuts you off.

'I never wanted to make you cry. I should have spent more time in the past two years making you cry because of laughter, not because of the unknown or the danger. I've failed you. I've broken promises. Almost every promise I make, I break' he says, a silence rolling into the room after he finishes.

'Not every promise Tommy. You still get my favourite flowers delivered every Saturday, you promised that on our wedding night. You still make me breakfast on Sundays, even if sometimes it's not until the afternoon because of business. You promised me that on our first anniversary. You still kiss me on the forehead before you leave for work every single day. You promised that on our first date when you saw me smile the entire night after you had done it' you go through each one, nuzzling his cheek with your nose after each point.

'You're not a bad person Tommy. And you're not a bad husband' you whisper and he finally turns to look at you, his palm coming up to cup your cheek, thumb stroking along your skin.

'well then, I promise to try harder to keep my promises. And to try and stay away from trouble. I promise to try Y/N, please, don't leave' he begs and you feel your walls tumble down, a tear leaving your eye and trailing down your cheek, being swept up by his thumb.

'This needs to be the last time Tommy. I can't keep on like this. It's destroying us' you whisper, voice weak. He bumps his nose against yours lovingly.

'I love you' he mutters against your lips and before you can respond, he has captured them in a kiss.