Where is Ivy Rose?

Chapter 3

Carly

I never imagined the moment I would come face to face with my birth mother. It never crossed my mind that this moment would ever come. I've always been alone. Or so I thought, but back then I thought it's always just been me. I moved from Foster home to foster home, that's just the way it's always been. There was a time when I was younger when I did try, but I always came to a dead end. There was no footprint, no paperwork, no mark of her existence, she just vanished into thin air.

I wiped my eyes, finally willing my feet to take the first crucial steps towards her. She hesitantly steps forward, immediately retreating upon glancing at my face, noticing my dishevelled appearance. The shock was evident on her face as if she was hit with a sudden wave of memories from her past. These were memories that I so desperately needed to hear from her very own lips, no matter how painful.

We were alone, just her and me I. Nothing separated us but the silence and questions that lingered in the air like a thick dark grey cloud. Samantha had left earlier to give us both some privacy, but the intense gaze my long lost mother directed at me was enough to make me crave her presence. My throat tightened and I felt my head pound spin, as I held my breath, waiting for her to make the first move, for her to explain why she left me. I had a million and one questions were going back and forth inside my head. Why did she leave me? Did she ever look? Did she ever think about me, dreams about me..... want me? A lone tear descended my cheek at that possibility, the possibility that maybe she never wanted me at all. I wiped my eyes, feeling a mixture of emotions take control of my entire body. 

I knew I needed to calm my nerves and keep my emotions in check before I got sucked into another surreal situation before I get traumatized by the answers that I know would come.  After releasing my last and final breath, I looked at her, stumbling backwards at the resemblance. I saw a reflection of myself, an exact copy, only an older version.

'Carly....'

'No. Please don't, please. Just....stay back' I whispered under my breath, feeling the full effect of the moment hit full force. It was too much, all too much and I felt like I was drowning, drowning from the full impact of the truth staring at me right in the face.

I always thought it was lies that did the most damage, lies that ruined the lives of so many people, but now I understood that it was the total opposite. It wasn't lies, it was the truth, and now I fully understood what people meant when they said the truth does more harm than good. Until now, I was in denial of everything that had transpired, telling myself that this was all just a dream and that I would wake up any second, back to my simple life in the caravan. I wrapped my arms around myself, looking at anything but her, not yet trusting my own voice.

'I can't imagine what you must be feeling, I know this is a lot to take in but....'

'No, you don't! You don't know how I'm feeling. How could you possibly know, you weren't there! You never were, how could you know?! You know absolutely nothing about my life. You don't know the pain I had to endure, the suffering I felt being passed on from home to home like I was nothing, like I meant nothing to them! You don't know the half of it!'