Being thrown away in the garbage in a dark alleyway in London when she was only a baby, she should have died that day... But she didn't.. instead, a man saved her. He brought her in and saved her, fed her, bathed her, raised her and more importantly...
a/n; for this chapter, there will be topics of suicide and depression. if any of this will be a trigger I don't recomend for you to read this chapter.
"I feel like nothing"
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I slightly groaned as I tried to adjust my eyes to the bright light and the loud beeping noise. This wasn't my bed and this wasn't my room. I sat up even though my body was screaming at me not to sit up. I was in a hospital? No, I am probably in Alex's clinic... the events from yesterday then raced through my mind.. from the conversation with Mandy to nearly being raped then went to the moment with Taylor then lastly to the discussion with my family.
"I put a roof over your head, I take you in and this is how you repay me and your brothers?"
"I am so disappointed in you... not only have you let me down but you have let your brothers down."
"she needs to learn this isn't her last home she can't just get away with everything and expect us to think it is ok."
My fathers and brothers words ran through my head. They are not only disappointed in me but they hate me. My father regrets taking me in.
"But you don't need to ever fear of us leaving or dad kicking you out. Dad would never do that he would rather take a hundred bullets before letting you go. As much as some of us don't want to admit it you are his favourite. I know for a fact that to him you are his world his little princess. He would die before he let you go."
They lied... my father doesn't love me, my brothers still see me as dirt. But what hurts me more is that they were probably only nice to me because they pitied me. Even though my body was in agony my heart hurt 10x more. It felt as if someone had put one million through daggers in my heart. Why can't anything good in my life stay? Why does everything in my life only revolve around pain? Why can't I just be happy? One thing I know is that I am done. I am done living this life. I am done being hurt... I am done being haunted... I am done feeling their burning touches... I am done feeling grief...
I just want to die...
I rolled over hugging myself trying somehow to release some of this pain. I tried my best to not cry but all the pain and hurt I felt was unbearable. The pain in my heart was so excruciating I don't think I have ever felt like this.
"Hey, princess ready to play with daddy?"
"Oh, look boys looks we got a feisty one on our hands."
"You're just a slut who no one will believe you, I wish you were the one who died instead of him."
"kill yourself disgusting orphan."
I wrapped my arms around my chest tighter as I remembered all of the pain, all of the abuse and all of the words. what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this life? The betrayal I felt brought a lump to my throat making it impossible to breathe.
