We should've stayed friends

All good things come to an end Daniel(point of view)

Cameron has been ignoring me since after his birthday. My friends warned me about getting attached to a straight guy, but what is a good [LGBTQIA] love story without a straight boy breaking your heart. There's this saying “  When you've outgrown a lover the whole world knows but you”. I believe in it profoundly because the signs were there but I didn't take note of them. I was so caught up in my own infatuation with this boy that in the end I'll just end up heartbroken.

It will open my eyes and give me some insight but I don't want that at the expense of my heart. I barely like anyone enough to want them but he gave me hope when he decided to talk to me and now I'm going to end up heartbroken. It's the worst feeling in the world. I remember when my first girlfriend left without a word and no explanation. I barely spoke to anyone after that recently I started to trust people again. People betray your trust and now the guy I like so much is going to break my heart.

I'll end up hating myself again for trying to love another human. It's just going to fuck up my self-esteem and self-conscious and I'll just shut everyone out again. I don't want this shit but there's nothing I can do I allowed myself to be charmed by his good looks and smooth talking and I warned him this shit would happen. At least both of us will feel like shit because of this whole thing. “When it's over and done with what's going to happen to the both of us?” i saw the signs and I ignored it!.

I'll just end up not talking to him and just shutting the world out.“ Maybe I just needed to lose him to love me, lose him to find me?. I needed to hate him to find me and when he does eventually break my heart I'll have all those things and I'll have the time to figure out who I am and what I am and also where I see myself. I don't want myself falling head over heels for another straight idiot. So when he does finally master up enough courage he knows where to find me.

I can't even believe he let it go on this long but if I think about it this is partially my fault. I didn't want it to get to this point in time where I get my heartbroken but what did I expect would happen if I try to live another human being. He is incapable of love maybe because his broken beyond repair or because his too broken to want to be fixed or loved. I really don't know it's just he made me feel so comfortable around him and especially his presence. Now look at me I'm a mess just for thinking about it.

I know he won't straight up break it off with me because we aren't a thing. He'll just ignore me and sometimes glance in my direction and not say anything but it's fine honestly because I already know how this love story is going to end. Basically after this whole thing I won't even shed a tear for him because his not worth my tears. Even though I washed an entire year on an idiot who refuse to see how good I could be for him. His worried about who says what and he fails to understand that their not living his life.

If he doesn't live it nobody will live it for him and honestly that is what is so upsetting to me. It's okay I'll be fine after this whole mess is over and done with. I'll just throw myself into my schoolwork because that is what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know i kinda sorta just hoped for something real honestly and to think that everyone was warning me about this shit and look where I ended up. I shouldn't even care about him or his feelings because he doesn't even consider mine.

I really don't know what I actually see in him. Like maybe it's because of the fact that his straight that it intrigued me more. I'll just have to brace myself for the heartbreak and just get over it because I am a strong person. I'm stronger than what he makes me out to be and he has yet to learn that because he'll see just how strong I'll become. As much as I don't want to let this go and ignore him, I don't have a choice.

He put me in a predicament where I have to choose between him and myself. He should know that I'll always choose myself over anybody else because I can't fix something that's not broken. I don't want to end what we have but I know he'll be the one to end it so I'll be okay because I have my girls and they will get me through this hell. As much as I was infatuated with him he is an asshole and I refuse to be a part of his little game. If he doesn't know what his sexuality is then that's not my problem because as much as I want to be his experiment I'll just get hurt in the end.

A/N
This is the last chapter in Daniels point of view. There is a story based on the current year 2020 and it is honestly more spicy than this one. As a little teaser
Cameron is even more confused since Daniel stopped talking to him. He is  a wreck and Daniels friends can see it because previously Daniel only wanted his attention. In this current year he wants Daniels attention and it is honestly hot because Daniel use to like him. As much as Daniel doesn't enjoy this sudden show of affection he honestly wants it secretly. They actually have a talk about Cameron and his emotions but Daniel decided to shut it down before he gets attached again🤦🏽‍♂️😒.
But what can I say Daniel likes a good submissive guy who knows how to beg😩.