What I Want

Chapter 1

"Let's go Kendal!" I heard Mom yelling from downstairs.

"Do I have to?!" I yelled as I grabbed a gray beanie and left my room.

"You know you have to so let's just go."

It took me a while to get down the stairs, as always, as I have only one real leg.

I lost it to cancer last summer. What a horrible summer. The day of the amputation... I remember it vividly. Waking up without a leg...

I got to the front door and then we went to the car and went to the hospital.

I hate these doctors meetings. They never ask me what I want for myself. I'm sixteen and I've been battling this stupid cancer for four years. It seems like it will never go away.

"You've been staying in your room a lot lately." Mom said when we left the driveway.

"I guess so." I was looking at the window as we drove by the high school.

I went to public school until this year, now I just do online school because my immune system can't handle all the germs in a public school. And I guess people are weirded out by the fact that I only have one leg... so there's that too.

The whole being bald because of the chemo is the worst part, I think.

No, the absolute worst part is that I can't be on that team anymore. I can't do track anymore. Nobody has ever asked if I wanted to even though I won first place in the state last year.

As that thought left my mind I drifted off to sleep and was woken up in the hospital parking lot.

Mom and the doctors talked about how I needed better treatment and more chemo and all that and I had enough of their talk.

"Enough!" I said with my arms crossed.

"Kendal.." Mom said so quietly it was hardly even a whisper.

"I'm sorry but I've had enough of you all just sitting here and never asking me what I want." I said and the doctors gave their full attention to me, finally after four years I could say what I wanted.

"We're listening Kendal." Dr. M said.

"Thank you. What I want, I want track. I want to run again." I said.

"Kendal... I don't see it at all possible." Dr. M said.

"Why not?" I asked, "I have done EVERYTHING you have asked me to since I was diagnosed. Do you think I wanted to give up my leg?!"

"Kendal, you're sick, very sick and running is very hard on the body and with your prosthetic leg... I don't even see it possible." Dr. M said.

"THEY MAKE SPECIAL THINGS FOR RUNNING I HAVE SEEN THEM. I CAN JUST GET ONE OF THOSE AND I WILL BE FINE. I know my limits." My voice drifted off into a cry.

We left the hospital and Dr. M is still against my wishes.

The day went on and I stayed in my room watching tv shows on my computer just like always.

Mom came up and called me down for dinner and I didn't eat anything, which resulted in a lecture from Dad about how I need to get nutrients to help fight the cancer. I guess he's right so I had some cereal... real nutritious, right?!

I did a few school lessons and then I went to bed, but my horrible day didn't stop there.

The nightmares, almost every night.

At 1:05am I woke up crying and ripped the covers off, looking at what should be my leg.

I couldn't breath and that's when my parents busted open the door and carried me to the car. I was having an anxiety attack and I'm going to wake up in my second home, the ICU.