Awkward (Jack Gilinsky fan fiction)

Chapter One

        I've always been self conscious. It feels like basically from the day I was born I've hated my legs. My stomach isn't long and thin like all of my best friends'. My legs are incredibly short, and I don't even like the get started just about my overall figure. I feel overweight. The doctor says I'm just growing, but I know that's bullshit. I'm 5'3 and 140 lbs. Someone my size would weigh 125, or basically anything less. And I know that I don't see myself for my actual size. I will never be able to, nor will any other human being. Our eyes exaggerate what we look like, and unfortunately my eyes see myself as; gross. I wear nothing but leggings and these one pair of comfy shorts from Forever 21, and the same t-shirts. I have plenty of clothes, I will admit, I just don't like myself in any of them. Because I know that when people tell me it 'looks fin', they are just used to what I look like and don't see the imperfections I see.  I have average, brown hair and brown eyes, and a boring face. It's the most stressful thing in the world, having no one see what you wish they really would. I don't like the way I look, but I've excpeted it and kept it all to myself. I never complain, and am a private person.

        I'd been suffering through high school for three years, watching friends come and go, leaving because they got a boyfriend. I never left. I always knew that I wasn't going to have a high school boyfriend, because I never had a tacky two-week boyfriend in middle school, I learned to accept it. My first day of senior year sucked. It was just like all the other years; my best friend got a boyfriend the first day and I ate lunch alone. The next day was the exact same, ignored. During lunch that day, I felt something weird. I have good senses and could swear that someone was watching me. But, I looked around, and there was no one there, but I thought I saw a quick pair of brown eyes. I just ignored it, I was used to misleading feelings. The rest of the day went by fairly slow, and walked home afterwards. 

        I woke up earlier than I usually do the third day of school, so decided to get ready a little better. Being a flop-nation person as usual, I fell back asleep. When I woke up again, I had to be at school in 35 minutes. I put my hair in an messy bun, which I watched like fifteen YouTube tutorials on so I was fairly proud of, a tanish-knit sweater from Brandy Melville, which I rarely wore, and some sweatpants from my P.E. class in middle school. I threw on some used-to-be white converse and ran. I got to school 10 minutes before the bell, and had to shove through crowd after crowd to get to my locker. I am able to understand as a teenager that; teenagers are stupid. Therefore, I am very capable of forgiveness. But there was one girl in my grade that I'd known for God knows how long who I truly hated; her name was Lily. As I was running to my locker, she looked me up and down and just judged me with her eyes. Even I knew that I looked like crap, but did she really have to prove it to me? I made it to class right on time, but was stuck sitting in the back. I hated sitting in the back, because it was always so noisey. There was all of two seat left, next to some boy I've never seen before. I threw my backpack into my chair and all of my stuff onto my desk. I sat down out of breath. The guy next to me laughed, and when I turned to him I froze. How had I never seen him before, so much confusion went through my mind.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, just that whole little panic-dance you just did was cute." I raised an eyebrow and slightly looked behind me to double-check this guy was talking to me. He was so angelic - dark brown hair, seemed tall, muscular, God-like eyebrows, and awfully familiar brown eyes. 

"I, uh, I saw you eating lunch the other day by yourself." So it was him, and wow that was embarassing. My face turned white, and my eyes turned bloodshot. 

"Haha, it's okay. I was just wondering why you were all alone? Someone like you shouldn't be. I'm Jack by the way." WHAT? I was so confused why this guy was talking to me. I saw behind his shoulder, Lily, just as confused as I was. He must have been popular? Why was he talking to me? Was this some kind of prank?