Heather (inspired by Conan Gray)

Third of December

To be honest, I wasn't planning for this stupid crush to go THAT far. I thought nothing of it at first, until it got twisted up and almost ruined something I held close to my heart.

Let's start at the beginning. Freshman year, 9th grade, first year of high school. I was seated next to Nathan Jones in Chemistry class. Of course, I'd been crushing on him since middle school, but he didn't need to know that; especially since he thought I was a new student that year. He was the classic 'High School Sweetheart' love interest that you see in all the cheesy romcoms.

Anyways, after sitting next to him for a while we started to actually talk to each other, which I found weird. I'm not sure why, but I always took him for a rude bully-type-dudebro, but he really proved me wrong. He treated me like an actual friend and not just someone he was stuck with for a project or something. I've never really had many friends in High School, Claire being the exception.

Claire's the only person from my middle-school friend group that actually stuck with me through high school, the rest moved or had to leave school because of an accident (the maternal kind). But Claire's always been with me, dragged me to every party she's been to, or was around to just to talk about whatever's bothering us. Mainly what was bothering her, but I had no issue with it.....mostly.

So, back to the topic of discussion. Nathan basically treated me as if we've been friends for a while, which was a rare type of interaction, at least on my end. When finals week was approaching, he was clearly struggling with the material we were taking, so I offered to tutor him. Little did I know that this little act would make us really close to one another. Sure, I thought we'd study together for a while then we'll go back to being friendly in the hallway. But what I didn't know was that Nathan really appreciated me helping him through the material. Like REALLY appreciated it. Ever since tutoring him he'd start hanging out with me and Claire every once in a while, and inviting us over to hang out with him and such.

Also, our school always hosts a winter dance after every first finals week. So in honor of me helping Nathan pass his chemistry exams, he used to try and get me a (female) date to the dance, which was nice of him honestly, but after I kept denying everyone he sends my way, for obvious reasons, he gave up. I don't blame him for not figuring out I didn't like women to be honest, I'm not sure he'd have known if I was kissing another guy in front of him. After the dance that night, on the 3rd of December (yes I memorized the date), Nathan invited me and Claire to go with him and his friends to some place in the woods. I know it sounds like a horror plot but bare with me. It was a classic "party in middle of the woods so we don't get caught underage drinking" type of thing. I wasn't really having the best time until later that night, when I was feeling all cold, Nathan gave me his sweater to wear.

I know I know this is like the biggest stretch since like ever, but I really appreciated it. And after the party when I tried to return it, he told me to keep it since "it looks better on you, Cory". I don't know about you but I truly think I peaked at that moment.

However, this niceness towards me and Claire kind of lessened throughout the second semester. The chemistry partners got switched up and that was about the moment the friendship between us froze over.

Oh don't get me wrong, he was still nice to me and Claire, it's just that we sort of didn't talk much anymore. And back again the routine of Claire enlightening my day with her problems until she ran out. This isn't judgement towards Claire, it's just I never open up much about myself, so she has to have enough to say for the both of us. I tried to make new friends, but by the second semester, everyone sort of already got sorted into their cliques and had their opinions brainwashed by whoever led the cult.

I tried to audition for glee club, thinking it'd be like the show, but then I realized I can't sing so I just never showed up for auditions. Chess club was an option, except I didn't have the strategy for it. Why couldn't there be a club for people with no friends to just hang out at school? There's no need for after school meet-ups, just some people to get me through the day. But while I was busy worrying about all the talents I don't have, Claire found herself a boyfriend! At least one of us was getting some action.

But that meant less time for her to go out with me.....

I didn't want to be selfish so I let her have her fun, while I found company in the drama club! Well, not actual company, but I started working on the lighting for the school plays. At least it was something to pass the time, and add something to my college application.

Except there was one piece of information I didn't know before joining, Nathan was also on the drama club. He didn't participate much because he's part of the school football team, however our football team doesn't really give freshman's a chance to shine, so I guess he found some free time, which was like a punch to the face to me. Why was this an issue you may be asking? Because all I could think about up in that light box was him, his sweater I sometimes had on, and his charm and charisma that comes so naturally to him.

He was so good at what he did, I was surprised football was his main passion. He didn't get the lead for the spring play. I think it was Mamma Mia! and he played Sophie's fiancé. I wasn't really focusing on the rehearsals though because damn that boy knows how to work a crowd, or at least me. He ran through his lines so well and his singing voice. HIS. SINGING. VOICE. I wondered what it would feel like to be God's favorite. We talked sometimes after rehearsal, sometimes to catch up other times to run lines. It was cute that he acted like we hadn't drifted away. It gave me a warm feeling.

Finally, it was the day of the premier. We all worked our asses off for this, so I was excited to see how the audience would react. It was a.... fair reaction considering this is a low budget high school play. Afterwards, as apparently it's tradition for theatre kids, we went to Denny's to have an after show celebration. However, while I was munching on my pancakes I suddenly heard-

"You kept it?" Nathan startled me as I was eating my second and third pancakes at once.

"What?" I said, startled by the jock.

"My sweater," he was now pointing, "you actually kept it." I saw a smile creep up on his face, and I forced down a big gulp so I can communicate as a human.

"Yeah," I said, forgetting that I had it on. "Why? Is it an issue or...?"

"No no no, it's just that I'm happy to see that you actually wear it around." It probably meant nothing, but it sent butterflies to my stomach. This small act really made me lose all sense of reality and had me crushing harder.

When I came home, I marked that sweater as my most valuable piece of cloth.

As the school year was coming to an end, finals were approaching, sadly. However, that had one good thing about it. I got to tutor Nathan again!! Although, this time, we mostly focused on the studying part since end of year finals kind of make or break our relationship with our parents.

Finals came and went with speed, surprisingly, and we were off to our summer breaks.

Summer was a fun break from reality for a while. My family and I spent most of it away, some weeks to visit family and other weeks to enjoy a cruise.

The rest of the vacation was spent at home. I hung out with Claire a lot and sometimes, I'm not sure why I was surprised, Nathan. Claire and I just went wherever we wanted to since Claire's new beau, Henry, had a car. He was a year older than us and apparently loaded, so that's always a lot of fun. We'd either go to malls that were too far or just play music without the feeling of being judged by our family.

"How did you guys even meet?" I asked her once when we were hanging around in my room. I'm not sure why Claire loved it so much, but I'm guessing it's because of the lack of annoying siblings.

"I'm not sure," she looks at me as if she's questioning it herself. "I think he just slid into my DMs and we hit it off"

Wow. That simple?

The few times I hung out with Nathan, we either went to the cinema or went bowling. But never alone. We always had some of his friends to keep us company. I don't know why I never questioned it or asked if we can go alone but I really wonder if I should've.

However, all this time in the past year basically meant nothing when summer ended. A new student enrolled into our school, and she was about to cause a lot more drama than she probably planned on. This new student's name was Heather.