It all started 15 years ago..
I was woken up by my phone ringing. With my eyes still closed, I reached for the phone and swiped to answer. Without even looking at my phone, I already knew who was calling.
"Yes, Bri?" I answered groggily. Without hesitation, my best friend since kindergarten starts to explain what was going on as she starts to cry. I look at my phone and check the time. 3:22 AM. "Tell me where you are, I'll come pick you up." She then tells me where she is, and I quickly throw on sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and my slides. I tiptoe past my parent's and older brother's room as I take the keys to the car and quietly go through the back door.
"The things I do for the people I love, I swear," I say to myself, as I get into my brother's car. The streets are empty, something that was very uncommon in our town, but then again, it is 3:30 in the morning. As I drive towards where Bri told me she was, I finally see the silhouette of someone sitting alone on the edge of the sidewalk. I park the car and head over to her. She looks up at me with her hazel eyes all glossy from the tears she's trying hard to keep in. I sit next to her on this dimly lit street. She rests her head on my shoulder as I start to speak.
"So what happened."
"The same thing. This happens all the time, I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. After every time this happens, I swear to myself that it's the last time, yet every time he calls, all my strength goes away and I find myself letting myself go."
It's been 2 years since Bri and Damiano have been a complicated on and off thing. They dated for about a year, then they decided to break up, over honestly I don't even know. But she fell so in love with him in that year, and honestly, I don't blame her. And ever since then, Damiano would just take advantage of the soft spot Bri had for him.
"Listen, I've told you countless of times what I think you have to do, but you and I both know that this will never end until you find it in yourself to really want to let go, and fight against it."
She sighs and nods. "Okay, let's pull ourselves together, get some ice cream, and head back to my house before someone in my household wakes up and all hell breaks loose."
"Good I already told my parents I was sleeping over your house anyway."
We both get up as she wipes away the last of her tears. "Of course you did, and good, Damiano is a piece of shit anyway, he doesn't deserve your tears, no boy does."I say.
She laughs at my comment as she opens the door to the car. As I get into the car, I look across the street and realize we're no longer the only ones on the street at 4 in the morning. I spot a figure under the dim street light walking down the street. They were wearing a red sweatshirt with their head down. Until, he lifts his head up and we make eye contact for a split second. He had dark black hair and a face that seemed vaguely familiar. I got into the car before the encounter would get any awkward. Bri looks at me confused, wondering where my attention has gone.
"Who is that guy? He looks familiar," I ask her.
"I don't know, he looks like he would go to our school though."
I shrug, and drive off to 7/11 which was open 24 hours, thank god.
"Hey Naya, thanks for tonight." Bri says getting out of the car.
"Of course, that's what I'm here for." I smile at her.
We get some Ben and Jerry's and head back to my house. Me and Bri have been best friends for so long that our parents are used to us randomly sleeping over each others houses. We sneak back into my house, trying to make as little noise as possible, when my brother, Noah, opens his bedroom door and sees us.
"Seriously," he says with a hint of disappointment.
"what? we got ice cream." I whisper.
"At 4 AM? Yea okay, we're all having a conversation tomorrow." Bri and I both groan and roll our eyes as we head back to my room. Bri is basically Noah's other little sister, and honestly, Bri doesn't mind. She's an only child so she enjoys having an older brother who looks after her, even if he can be overprotective and a little annoying.
We walk into my room, get on my bed, and start eating our ice cream.
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"Naya, when do you think you'll get your first love?" Bri asked me while throwing out her ice cream.
I took my last spoon full of my chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and got to thinking. Because honestly, I wonder the same thing. I've grown up watching all these romance movies that set my expectations of my first love, of my high school sweetheart, or just someone to give my love to. And now, as juniors in high school, I can't help but think that I'll ever get the epic love story I've always dreamt of. I mean I've talked to some guys, and tried really hard in making it work, but every time it just felt so forced. All of my friends around me were in relationships, and I've seen them go through the highs and lows of a relationship. I just played the "therapist friend." Honestly, a part of me feels like they've kinda scarred me with relationships.
"Honestly, I don't know, maybe I never will," I answer jokingly.
She rolls her eyes, "Shut up, there's always been guys who wanted you and you have some guys in your phone, why don't you give at least one of them a chance?"
"I don't know, all these guys I'm just not that into. I mean I'd hook up with them but I don't know." I say as I get under my covers.
"So do that, have some fun, with it. Ya know" she says as she gives me that look and wiggles her eye brows.
"I'll think about it, let's see how it goes," I say, laughing and closing my eyes.
"You're right, no rush. You don't wanna end up like me"
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