Walking on Glass

I

"Joe," Sav whimpered, pulling at his hair and slapping his cheek.

It hadn't been a head on collision, no. Sav had turned the bloody wheel at the worst time possible, causing the other car to ram into the side, killing Joe on contact.

If it had been a head on collision, they'd both be dead and cursing the drunkard who'd killed them and survived. Funny how accidents work, isn't it?

Of course, Sav didn't know that, and was praying with all he had that it wasn't so.

"Please," he whispered, unaware of his own injuries, voice cracking under the weight of his love's fate. "Please, Joe, please. Come back," he whimpered.

"'Sall right, baby," he heard Joe's voice whisper. A mirage summoned by hope, of course, but the sheer possibility relieved him so much that he blacked out.

—

When he awoke, he was lying on a hospital bed.

White.

That was all he could see. It seemed so pure and innocent, nowhere near a match for the pain.

It wasn't much, only a dull, throbbing ache in his head.

The pain wasn't what bothered him, though.

What bothered him was Joe's absence. He couldn't see him, and was certain that they'd be put close together, considering the position they had to be in when they were recovered.

So where was he?

'Maybe he's in another room. One I can't see. Yes, that's it.'

But those thoughts were no comfort to him, nor a remedy to his rapid heartbeat. The monitor at his bedside picked it up, and a nurse came in to see what was up.

The first thing Sav saw was her wavy bright-ginger hair, but he couldn't focus on it or her tall stature, not when he was so desperate to know where Joe was.

"Joe," he croaked, sapphire eyes searching hers.

Her green eyes widened in realization, taking in the heartache on his face, the desperation in his eyes.

Joe. That must be his name. He must've been the one Amanda found clutching to him as if his life depended on it.

"He's okay, right? He's alive?" Sav questioned, dread lacing through his heart like lead when he received no answer.

The nurse just shook and bowed her head, walking quietly out of the room when she realized that was the only trouble. Physically, he could probably be released the next day.

Emotionally, well, she didn't think he'd be able to make it on his own.

—

"Amanda?"

"Yes, Rachel?" The blond replied, brown eyes inquisitive.

"How do I tell someone their loved one's died?"

"Rachel, seriously. You really think they're lovers?"

"And more."

"I don't know how to tell him, and I really think we should wait till he's more stable."

—

The next day, Amanda sat beside him and told him everything. She felt he could handle it, as he hadn't suffered any major injuries.

It was remarkable, really. His friend had died, but he'd gotten out almost unscathed, save for the broken heart she was about to give him.

In fact, some people at the hospital thought it was planned. Murder.

"Where is he?" Sav demanded, an almost crazed look in his eyes.

"Rick, I-I'm so sorry, but he didn't make it." She whispered, voice soft, cracking towards the end. It never got any easier, and she suspected that it never would.

He didn't react, not immediately. At first, he just stared incomprehensibly into her eyes, not believing what he was hearing, seemingly unable to grasp it.

"No. He can't be."

"He is."

"I didn't- didn't kill him, did I?"

"No, no of course not." Though some say you did.

"But it was my fault. I jerked the wheel too hard. Threw that side of the car into the impact. I'm fine, and he's dead."

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, though at the same time, she couldn't help but think the same thing.

"And I didn't even tell him I loved him. We were arguing about the tour or the album or whatever it was. The last thing I ever said to him is that I hate him. How could those words be my last?"

How convenient. They were arguing, and then Sav threw Joe into the line of fire. If you'd ask her she'd say it was planned, but all Sav wanted to do was get out of the way, and save Joe the heartache.

But sometimes, sometimes he wished that he'd died instead. Wished that he'd turned the wheel the other way and thrown himself in front of the car, using his dying breath to save Joe's life.

If only he'd've done that.

Joe'd still be alive. He wouldn't, but Joe would.

And to him, that sounded like the best option possible. If only he'd chosen it.