Thoughts

I understand you, self...

Before I am just looking for a person who can listen, someone I know that I can vent out all my pain and anger without hearing any advices and also I don't want to hear any words of sympathy or telling me what I needed to do because obviously that's not what I need. I thought having someone who is there to listen to you is already enough... But right now, In the middle of all the pain and chaos I realize that I don't just need someone who can listen... I also need someone who will tell me that they understand what I'm feeling or where I'm coming from, that it's also important to hear a words or advices that is full of empathy than sympathy. Having someone who can remind you that you're understood even though you're believing otherwise, someone who can always make you feel that you're not alone in the fight.

Sometimes hearing someone say "I understand you. It's okay, things will get better soon" and makes you feel that you're not really alone and that they cared for you is more important than having someone who only knows how to listen because everyone can listen but not everyone can understand. Hmmm... Words can help to lift up someone spirit too just always choose the right words to say :))

It gives me pain that after I convinced myself multiple times that there is no wrong to open up to someone, that maybe the heaviness can be lessen if I will be brave to voice out what I am feeling but after I did it hahaha instead of feeling better, I feel more bad and I regret that I let myself to speak. Receiving words like "ewan" and telling me that what I am feeling is really painful makes me laugh while crying hahaha yes sweety, I'm aware that it's painful that's why I'm being like this. Can't you see? I am actually hurting hahaha you don't need to remind me tho hahahaha but yea :) It's okay, I understand that no one is responsible in my own pain. Maybe it's true that in the end the only who can understand you is yourself... :)