Better Goodbyes (ON-GOING)

Prologue

How do we move on?

Well, there are a lot of ways depending on how people cope up with the pain and sorrow. Some took their life just so they could not feel pain again. There are who just accept it and suffer from pain and great losses.

Others chose to flirt with other people because they think it's the most effective way to easily get over with all the stuff thats keeping them from their happiness. While thats not the thing for me.

It was August 2019, I was in great despair thinking how my own family deserted me for not being of any help to them, but he was there to give me hope and energy to stand up and continue my journey each day. He's my source of wisdom and everything.

Thats why I swear to myself that I'm gonna fight for him no matter what. I'll stay by his side no matter what it takes. I love him and he loves me too.

BUT I WAS A FOOL TO BELIEVE THAT HIS LOVE WAS GENUINE AS MINE.

On that night, my family abandoned me. He left too. On the day I needed him the most he confesses that he no longer feels the same as before. He said he just stayed out of pity and that he just waiting for me to let go.

I was shattered and in the deepest pain. I have no one to talk too, no one to share my burden with. I'm all alone on that night of August 9, 2019.

However, I couldn't just let go of him as easily as that. I just cant accept that we're breaking. As I wake up after that night, the weight of shattered pieces of my thoughts seems to can't get all back to their senses and forcing me to just lie down the whole week.

Mourning and broken I pretended to be fine when he asked me to help him achieve his dream. I told myself that this could be a better way to say goodbye to the person I love, by taking him into the doorstep of his dream. I'm going to use this chance of being with him to get over with all my feelings so I could let go easily.

But things didn't go as I thought it would be. Seeing him doing his speech on this night of August 9, 2020, when he finally enters the room of his dreams and success, he was so very happy. He wears a genuine smile I never once saw when we were together. I am happy for him. I am happy for his success.

As I watch him getting busy thanking everyone who attended his party. I am busy composing myself not to burst out from the mixture of pain and happiness I felt inside. Then his eyes landed on me, I smiled and wave and he smiled back then entertain his guests again. I looked at him with so much love and pain,

"I'm happy seeing you holding your dreams, but it hurts to thinks that I belonged to none of them. That I am certainly not part of the future you want for yourself. I guess this is the day we part ways. I love you so much. I hope you still remember me when we meet again Zee"

Amid Ed Sheeran song entitled Parting Glass, I am walking towards the door outside while everybody is busy getting emotional with the video played on the screen. Slowly I am leaving the room that sparks a new beginning and new happy memories for the man I loved so much. But behind the success he felt, I am breaking. I am getting drowned by the pain.

"And all Ive done for want of wit

To memory now I cant recall

So fill to me the parting glass.

Good night and joy be with you all"

My tears continuously falling as I open the door. Before I could completely go out from there I turned and looked at him, he is very happy and fulfilled.

"Goodbye Zee"

I shed my tears trying to smile and slowly close the door.

"Good night and joy be with you all

Good night and joy be with you all"

To be continued...