I was born in Reading, Pennsylvania, on December 13th, 1989.
In the world that we live in, birthdays are celebrated to accommodate the very instant that we are born. A funeral is held to mark the moment that we leave it. But what can be said in the time between these two moments?
Two years ago, I made a leap by moving to to New York. I experienced this bustling city in the hopes of reinventing myself and finding inspiration. And I did. This city is so alive, it never sleeps even at the hours where most people are. The amount of people here is just another reason why you can find love at first sight. It's like a sea of commoners that seek something new in their lives.
People seem to act like they know what is going on. Some people talk about what they don't know, and don't know what they're talking about. I've been given the title of the ' insane, clingy, girlfriend that dates for songwriting material'. And it's hilarious. I turned all that into a song. And people seem to love it. And I even made fun of myself in the video. And people don't even know that because I was being sarcastic. How sad.
Style is the ability to look good in what you wear. And fashion is what is trending. Not only did I evolve my style and fashion over the years, my love life seems to have a look of its own. It feels like every love story has its own pattern of story lines, and mine is no exception.
Out of the woods is a question of wether I was out of the madness. I kept asking myself that the entire time. Now that I am out of the woods, and I haven't been in the woods for so long, I forgot how chaotic it was. It was like The Hunger Games. Like two people who love each other- or at least learn to love each other- trapped in an arena battling for their lives and in the end only one can be declared the winner, and that is who survives longer. And that was me. On top of that it seemed like there were more people on the woods than just me and him. Like a thousand other people watching and rooting - or not,- for you. Glad that ended.
All He Had to Do Was Stay. I learned that some people think that they can come back after they left just like that and think that they'll be taken back. How wrong. Shaking Things Off isn't as easy as you think it is. But all I can say is that make your rythm is louder than the whispers and mean things said about you. And have more fun than the people who are said to be cooler than you.
I miss that person too much to be and anymore. To hate them and be isolated from each other for months and to forget about what cause all the madness is quite easy. To start things over and to make things okay isn't. Just something that everyone can relate to. Wishing you never hung up the phone like that.
I made friends, I made 'friends', and most definitely made enemies. It's a funny thing to look back at all the good times you've had and then looking at what you've become of now is just hilarious. Best friends to being a each others throats.
Then there's him. He only sees me in his wildest dreams, boldest fantasies. He only remembers me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset with my red lips and rosy checks. How do you get the girl? After you left her standing in the corner like that for six months? You just remind her how it used to be. Tell her that you'll wait forever and ever. That you'll put her heart back together after it was shattered to pieces.
This love is good. This love is bad. It's like the cat is chasing the light. He comes and goes and runs the returns to what he needs. Somethings do come back alive. And the weird part is you play along with it
I know places. I've been living in New York, Rhode Island, Nashville, and many other places. But everybody is watching. And you can't draw attention by falling all over again in front of everyone without putting the relationship in danger. You can run, you can't hide forever. But the nature about young people is that we never fall short when it comes to reacting like it happens to us for the first time.
Clean. I think I'm finally clean. After I've let go of all the things that have held me back I think that for some reason I'm more liberated than ever. Being with him was free, but now I've experienced freedom. And I felt that I could finally breathe, but that moment was when I was drowning. Sometimes not having it your way could lead you to new possibilities and a new way of thinking.
Join me and take a look back at what has happened t me in the last two years. Join me in reliving all the madness, chaos and havoc of the love, hate, and the complexities of being under a billion spotlights.
