YOU WERE WRONG

This is how I feel

If you think for one second that I am going to ease up on the hard work now I have answers and the help I needed, than I clearly haven't done a very good job of describing myself to you. 

I'm determined. Want proof read the report I have on me. The lady who wrote it said that she was amazed that I had copped so well and developed so far with such little help. 

Well I'm not like most people I don't give up. And not like the people who say they don't give up and then collapse under a slight pressure. 

I crack, sure nearly everyone does. The were many sleepless nights where I stayed up revising for the test the next day to try and force my brain into remembering things because I new if I didn't I would fail the test. 

After I found out the news that I did in fact have learning difficulties I actually cried. I cried for all the lost sleep and anger I had shed asking myself over and over why I wasn't clever. 

I cried for all the trouble and pain I endured in junior school watching other kids learn and flourish. 

And I wondered what it would have been like if I hadn't been good at hiding my dyslexia, if it had been registered back when I was five or even a few years before year ten. I could have been provided with more help, extra time in the end of year exams and support from teachers. Even just a knowledge of why I struggled. 

In case I'm not being clear enough I was so angry for enduring all that not knowing why I had to endure all this anger. 

You did this to me. You missed it, all of you who taught me, who watched me was supposed to help and nurture me, a mere few of you stopped to consider there might be something about me you didn't know.

But to the rest of you. 

I have the help I always needed now. Finding out one year from my GCSE's isn't a perfect situation, far from it. But I will persevere. That is the one good thing that you did to me. You made me strong and resilient and forced me to figure things out for myself. So I am going to ace my GCSE's this year so I can move on with my life and to prove you wrong, because YOU WERE WRONG!

So in a way thank you.

But I still hate you. 

Ten years is what you took from me.