"No! I admit it, instead of crying, I got high! I admit it and I hate myself for it you motherfucker!"
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"People break your heart and you have the audacity to act as if you're the one that fucked it up?"
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"How about I sum it up for you in a way you...
Just releasing the introduction so you can know what your going into before you save into Library.
Behind Our Loading Broken Teenage Minds is something to read at your own risk. This book contains multiple triggering factors and mature content.
Triggering Factors such as.. -Suicide -Mental Issues -Alcoholism -Sex, Drugs and Smoking -Violence -Self Harm
Introduction/ Prologue I distinctly remember the day where I walked into the house that reeked of marijuana and alcohol. I remember that feeling of regret as I had decided to force myself to go that night as I had nothing else to do even though I promised myself I wouldn't go to such a place.
I remember seeing you just sitting there, merely unbothered by the loud music and the guys taking shots right in front of your face. You sat there, just staring at them with a look that said, go ahead, I don't care, as they were practically harassing you.
You smoked that cigarette like you knew what it was doing to you and that's exactly why you did it. Not because you were addicted, but because you didn't want to live as long as other people. And I noticed it right away.
When I walked up to you and we began to talk, I saw how you noticed I wasn't ideal with cigars and put it out on an ashtray in the most subtle way possible so I would continue the conversation you didn't want to end.
You surprised me when you didn't offer a cigarette but instead, when saw me with one, knocked it out of my hand and lectured me as if you weren't smoking too. As if you didn't want to die too.
I apologized for situations that never included me and you looked at me saying, "so you're the type of person who will get their heartbroken and think it's their fault, aren't you?"
I said yes. Yes I am, and then I apologized for that , causing you to laugh and shake your head.
And it was moments like that, that made me look past all the rumors of you. The rumors that I should've known weren't true but still hid behind the back of my loading broken teenage mind. Behind our loading broken teenage mind.
I know you thought about them too, no matter how many times you tried to look unbothered. But I knew when you were bothered and you did too.
You relied on going outside to light one up, or going to the Lighting lights shack and getting high with guys that were watching your every move because not only were you a girl, but because you were in no position to not only say no, but yes.
You stayed safe though. You always had that one friend you could count on, but when he left, unknowingly it was me. I stayed outside, making sure you came out and if you didn't, I took the chance and went in, ready to fight, cry, or call a friend.
Don't you see Felicity? Behind my broken, loading teenage mind, I was there for you. I remembered everything, I gave you everything, You were my everything.
And I'm sorry that I focused on you so much to the point where I didn't focus on myself. I looked past my problems, school and even my family.
It ended up doing the thing I was trying to prevent you from most. Pain, even though it was all you were feeling.
And it's the fact that I haven't learned my lesson because I'd do it again in a heart beat.
Felicity don't you see!? Don't you see what you do to me!?
𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴
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𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘢 𝘉𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘝𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘗𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴
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