you and aaron have been on a rough patch lately. it was clear when you two started dating: his job is a lot and it comes first. its been 2 years and its been hard. he is never home, and when he is he just wants to sleep or train. not cuddle, not go on dates. this night got even worse.
you both finish spaghetti and wine, washing the dishes. once food was put away, you leaned in for a kiss. you tried advancing it farther but he pushed away. it lead into a fight
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tears streamed down your heated face while you stood there. "why wont you touch me? its like you are disgusted to even look at me" you defensively stated, hurting with every word.
he said something he didn't think through. the last 6 words he would ever want to say to you. but the moment was heated and it slipped through his lips. "i JUST DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE"
the room fell dead silent, quiet enough to hear your heart shatter on the tile. you didn't even know what was happening, just felt the warm streaming tears on your cheeks. you heard the door to your guy's apartment slam. you focused on the hard slapping of your feet on the ground. you bolted down the stairs to the outside. you had no phone, no keys, nothing. the cold harsh air followed you as you searched for coins in your pocket. the payphone rang and the other side picked up "hello?". you heard emily's voice say, calming you down. "i'm sorry it's late. hotch and i just got in a really bad fight and i have no where to go. i'm on 3rd and oak." the sobs and croaky voice convinced em it was serious, and she was on her way. amelia saw the familiar blue car and sunk in to her best friend's arms. the ride back was quiet. you both settled into her apartment, while you explained how the fight went down. em cringed as you said the horrible words he spoke.
"amelia, you know he doesn't mean it. the whole team sees how he looks at you. he loves you, i know he does."
"i want to believe it so bad. but hearing him say he isn't just kills me. i never thought he would say that. not to me." i leaned and sobbed into em's arms. you were scared to know what would happen between you two.
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"i JUST DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE"
i instantly tensed up, stepping back at what just escaped my mind. i stood frozen, unable to move, unable to fix what i've said. my body forces me to stare at her, look in her eyes while i just broke her heart. i finally was able to move my hand to catch her, but it was too late. a gust of air blew in my face as the door slammed shut. she raced out of our apartment, no phone, keys, nothing. i run to catch up, but shes long gone. i feel a force through my body as i crash onto the stairs outside the building. my head is buried in my hands as i ball. when we first started dating, i made sure we understood my job was my life and it was priority. she didn't know, but it changed. she was the most amazing thing to happen to me, and my job lost its spot to her.
she has been hurt in the past. it took her a while to open up to me, to trust me, she was so cautious to fall in love. but she did. and i just said the 6 words to tear the trust she had finally rebuilt. i wanted to kick myself so hard for what just happened. i have anger issues, and on the field i can control my mouth, but its exhausting. at home i let down my wall, and also my filter. i needed to find her, make things right. part of me debated waiting, giving her time, but the other weighed with now or never. i took the latter, and grabbed my keys. i floored the gas and went to em's.
i knew she'd be there, em was her best friend. they met once i introduced her to the team, and the two clicked. i arrived and gently knocked on the door. emily opened the door. i could see through her behavior as she weighed two options. to turn me down and let amelia rest or to let me in, make her mad, but try to help mend the situation. she also went with the latter. i approached my love and broke down at what i've put her through. her eyes were so red, her face terribly swollen. she wore emily's hoodie and had it drenched with her tears. i read her face, she was conflicted. she was heart broken over what was happening, but also a little relived i came back.
"look, amelia please listen to me. i do not expect you to take me back immediately with open arms. i know how much i hurt you. it took so long for you to trust yourself and me, to be able to love, and i broke it. i know you don't need to be a profiler to read that i messed up terribly. i want to own up to it. i regret what i said, and i don't mean it one bit. i never told you this, but my job priority? that changed at the day at the lake." the two starred at each other with teary eyes. the lake was the day we fell in love. it was the date where i asked her to move in with me, it was the day we decided to be serious. "when i was considering moving in with you, i knew how much my life improved with you in it. you take my priority. i want to start a life with you amelia. a permanent one. i want a family with you. and i never want to loose you. i am so sorry, and i hope you will eventually accept me" i say, tears rolling down me cheek while i stare at the ground, ready for defeat and rejection.
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i just stared at him, unable to cry more tears. i know how sincere he was. if this was another guy i wouldn't believe the speech. i would say goodbye and end it. i wouldn't even blink an eye in the direction of mending. but aaron want any other guy. its cliche, but what he said was true. the day at the lake changed everything. that was the day i knew he really did love me. every flaw. i clear my throat, my voice rough and dry from the harsh sobs, "aaron. you don't have to wait for me to accept your apology. its been done. i know you love your job, and i shouldn't have taken this out on you. instead of yelling i should've sat down and discussed it maturely. its been a few hours, and these few hours away were worse than when you are gone weeks at a time. aaron hotchner, you are my true love." i walked up to him and gave him a big hug, while he let out a sigh of relief. he held me tight, as if he were to never let me go, and i knew from this moment on, he will never have to.
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AN: hey sorry this one was sad haha um i switched povs through this? i went from 2nd person to first and there is some third, so im sorry about that. please leave comments, vote and leave requests
xo, A
