you're my weakness. (reddie)

the beginning of the end.

Eddies POV:

He's so gorgeous. He's the type of gorgeous that
makes it so every time you look at him your heart melts into lava and burns in your chest. Every time I close my eyes I always see the same thing. Him. I start to daze off. I imagine we are on the roof of a building on the 4th of July. He's looking at me, pizza in one hand, my hand in the other. I hear him saying something to me. He's calling to me. "Eddie! Eds? Eddie? Are you awake? Earth to Edward." Wait, what? I am shook back to reality by his hand waving in my face. He touches my shoulder, and electricity pumps through my veins. "What? Sorry I was zoning out." "Oh really I couldn't tell," he says snarkly, "Anyways Ed's we better head out if we are gonna make it to the clubhouse before sundown. And besides, I'm tired of studying." The clubhouse is this underground mine shaft looking area that my friend Ben fixed up for us. Me and the rest of my friends in the losers club always hang out down there. The losers club consists of Stanley, Beverly, Bill, Mike, Ben, and of course, Richie. Richie is my best friend in the whole world. Just my best friend. Nothing more. Anything more would be wrong, that's what my mom says. She says that it's unnatural and disgusting. I don't understand that. How can love be disgusting? But I shouldn't question her. "Mother knows best" that's what she always says.

I hopped on the back of Richie's bike as we headed off for the clubhouse. My mom wouldn't let me have a bike because they are "too dangerous" but honestly, I don't mind this too much. I put my arms around his waist, holding on for fear of an injury. I feel him close to me. The warmth of his body draws me in. The way he makes me feel so free. Can this be wrong? The words of my mother ring in my head "Unnatural." And suddenly I sit up straight and snap out of it. I think Richie notices my shift in placement because the corners of his mouth turn down slightly. Sometimes I wonder if he has these thoughts too. But that's silly. Of course he doesn't. It's WRONG. He's too perfect to be wrong like me.

Richies POV

My best friend Ed's is riding on the back of my bike because he doesn't have one. That's all it is. That's all we are. Best friends. Just platonically sharing a bike because that's what friends do. That's NORMAL. And to be anything but normal would be incorrect. But still I feel this energy with him. I find myself always wanting to be near him. He calms me down. How could I think of us as more than friends? Isn't society all about fitting in? Why do I have to be one of the people who stands out?

I wish I could just be normal. I wish I could just have a crush on Heather or Emily or even Greta Bowie. Anyone who I'm supposed to. But none of them make me feel the same way as Ed's does. Am I unnatural? Am I allowed to look at him like that? Could it be wrong, when he's just so nice to look at? He smells like grass stains and the doctors office, but something about him just draws me in. I don't know how to stop. My thoughts are interrupted by a small shift in position. The tiny boy on my back is now sitting up awkwardly straight, trying to hold on without making too much contact. I feel a frown form across my face, but I stop it before he can notice. He will never think of me the way I think of him. Of course he won't. He's normal. He's perfect. He could never be my friend if he knew that I had thought of him so unnaturally.

After 10 minutes of biking awkwardly in silence, we arrive at the clubhouse. Everyone else is already inside, and give us a look when we come in, so I assume we are late. I honestly don't know, I no longer have a watch. Mine was broken after bowers and his gang jumped me in the woods. Fortunately I was able to get away without taking too much damage, though I can't say the same for my watch.
"Hey big bill, how's it hangin" I saw with a smirk. Bill is like our leader. He is the bravest of all of us, though he talks with an awful stutter. It all started after his brother Georgie went missing. And then, when they found his body in the sewers, the stutter got MUCH worse. There were some days he couldn't get a single word out. It's gotten a little better now, at least we can actually understand him.
"Hey guys, y-you're late. W-w-where were you? I thought w-we were gonna g-g-g-go to the q-quarry."
Eddie chimes in, "Sorry Billy, we were studying. There's a history exam next week and if I fail I'm fucked. I won't be able to leave the house for months." His voice is so cute. It sounds like a baby animal. He's so wholesome. But if I were to ever call him that, he'd rip my face off. That's what I love about him.

We all got our bikes to go to the quarry. I called for Ed's to sit with me on my bike, but when he didn't respond I looked back to see him nestled onto the back of Stanley's bike. I felt my heart sink into my chest a little, as if it were a deflating bouncy castle. Eddie looked at me in a way I've never seen him look before. He looked sad, and almost... guilty? I don't know what's going on between us. I just want my best friend back.